The things you take for granted…
About an hour ago, I had my first indoor hot water shower since March 19 when I was still in a nursing/rehab facility. 
When I came home, I was unable to walk. So my family would wheel me out to the patio and help me shower using a garden hose. Getting in and out of either of the indoor showers was not an option for months.
I simply wasn’t able to do it. 
The overwhelming concern; would I ever be ready? Would I ever walk again? 
Little things become monumental obstacles. I doubted myself at every turn.
Thankfully, the weather was hot, and the cool water was refreshing. After I showered, I tried to work on my tan.
It was lovely to listen to the mockingbirds sing, and watch the sparrows zipping in and out of the hedges with huge white cumulus clouds building a backdrop in the eastern sky.
My Kidlet would come outside, and we would have mom and daughter talks.
She introduced me to three live chameleons who were locked in a genuine love triangle. Two guys. One girl. Frank, Diego and Gladys.
I saw Frank and Diego fighting over Gladys while she preened in the sun. Most of the time when I saw Gladys she was with Frank. But there were a few times when Gladys was alone and Diego would stop by. And she let him stay.
Girlfriend just couldn’t make up her mind.
And I’m not making this up!
Their markings were easy to spot so we knew it was the same trio. One or more were always around.
🦎
A few weeks ago, it dawned on me that I needed my patio time to understand what a tremendous journey I had survived. 
No one thought I would.
I needed to get it through my head that garden hose showers were a blessing and nothing to be embarrassed about. I was clean.
I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself, stop breaking down every afternoon drowning in rivers of tears, to blow my nose and start finding gratitude for everything that still remained.
It was time to start healing. Not just my body, but my heart.
I needed to stop being so afraid.
Chilly air was coming, and we needed to prepare for the next step. 
We recently had some super duper grab bars and other safety features professionally installed to accommodate my disabilities. 
I’m happy to report that I no longer need to wash like a farm animal. 🐴
Thanks be to God.
I’m a girl again.
