Kindle Edition
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Category:
Literary Fiction
Type: Fiction
Pages: 300
Copyright: march 4, 2021
ISBN-13: 9781005233594
Price: $3.99 (eBook)
Woman have you had enough? An inspiring tale of hardship, wisdom and discovery, Soul Skin is a celebration of those of us who do not fit into ‘normal’. Deeply moving, Soul Skin is an odyssey of many lifetimes, that summons our own personal journeys.
Reader's Favorite Awards & BookWorks Book of the Week
Woman have you had enough? An inspiring tale of hardship, wisdom and discovery, Soul Skin is a celebration of those of us who do not fit into ‘normal’. Deeply moving, Soul Skin is an odyssey of many lifetimes, that summons our own personal journeys.
Life overflows with problems as Navi is caught in between two worlds, of loss, destiny and self-discovery. Striving to cope with; a child’s cancer, marital heartbreak, a stifling rural church community, a scandalous love affair, job loss, menopause and a haunting dark shadow nemesis, Navi is left heart broken and shamed. Lost and alone with her daughter, she is comforted by her dead Grandmother and a mysterious soul skin man. Slammed into impossible challenges, insights come through ancient sisterhood teachings and sacred dream journeying to historic events in; a Nazi death camp, a pre-civil war deep south, indigenous North America, as Joan of Arc, audience with Lord Byron, as a wolf mate and more.
Throughout, Navi candidly explores life with wit, yet it is the love bond of her daughter, Gran and soul skin man that carries her through.
Following the power of fate and finding the freeing truth of who you truly are, can be a magical journey of remembering your; innate heart wisdom, connection with the spirit world of possibilities and bring forth your life mission. The power of your Ancestors and the magic of the cosmos is in your DNA!"
*Available in ebook, paperback and large print.
https://youtu.be/v6fPsRvoYs4
Excerpt
“Any idea who it is?”
Abby giggled, “It’s Dad.”
“Oh, were you expecting him to come and take you for a visit?”
“Yes, no Mom. He’s not here for me, he’s here for you, us.”
Navi’s heart jingle-pounded alert, frozen as Abby retreated indoors. T.J. casually emerged from a funky new Jeep and strode directly toward Navi. Twenty-five-years of the distance between them disappeared. His greying beard and ponytail, wrinkles and hunched shoulders showed an adult lifetime of life hard-lived and loss. His Hollywood sunglasses hovered on the nose ridge. Stunning blue eyes beamed a smile from an inside soul outward. Navi’s knees weakly buckled, her heart fluttered as she self-consciously brushed away a hair strand. How slovenly old did she look? Blushing with embarrassment, she glanced back at the Jeep for a view of his wife or some other eye-candy woman. Seeing no one, attention reverted to her own greying hair, lack of hygiene, aging wrinkles and postmenopausal, ferocious itching private parts. Her face flushed, imagining the stark contrast of the shite hole cabin she lived in compared to the affluence that was his world. There might be a bit of coffee left, but the milk was sour. Abby had only one beer left. Her undies were soaking in the bathroom sink. ‘Don’t let Abby invite him inside,’ she thought. ‘Hope to God she packs her bag quick and they go so that I can clean the place and have a bath before he gets back, in case she invites him inside.’
Dismissing the obvious passionate adolescent attraction, Navi shifted to stoic casual friendship-hostess welcome. T.J. boldly stood boundless, his fresh cologne sending passionate heatwaves through her private parts and spine, blinding her mind. Extending one arm forward to her, he offered a bouquet consisting of two red roses, tied with a yellow ribbon. Grinning and audaciously chuckling, he spoke: “Even thorns have roses, my Dear, except this bouquet; which means no more thorns for you.”
Navi backed away, self-conscious of imagined bad coffee nicotine breath and four-day body odour. He stepped forward. Too intimately scared, she backed again. He sighed, gazed at the ground, searching for words.
Consciously aware of Abby back inside the cabin, window perched, and watching the reunion unfold, Navi extended a hand and shyly accepted the bouquet and introductory message. Running fingers over thorn-less stems, tears brimmed her eyelids, touched by the gift of thoughtfulness, laden with a thousand transcendent meanings. He had remembered the phrase, had contemplated its application, and perhaps understood the foolishness of their youthful parting. Reverent gazing, and taking in the beauty of the roses and sweet aroma, lost life of love shared, passed between the two in an instant. Their paths had naively been led astray. A forgotten teenaged love bond once remembered.
In an instant, Navi remembered what the dark secret shadow was about, revealing itself in full emotional impact. She recalled once seeking out the minister’s counsel, after her first baby, Angela’s miscarriage. The minister was old school and recognized Navi as Gran’s lineage, a witch, an evildoer, and soothsayer, and immediately took a scorching and disapproving approach; T.J. was to walk away from Navi, Navi was told to abort the evil child Thomas growing in her womb and to have a hysterectomy to prevent any more hell children from being born. Navi was told to repent her evil soothsayer and seer sins and stay away from T.J. The demented man of God, frothed at the mouth and pointing a finger stated that he was God’s Holy Messenger and was onto her, saw through her evildoer soothsayer eyes, and into her sinful soul; a conjurer of magic, unworthy of God’s forgiveness and may God have mercy on her soul. Any unborn fetuses of Navi’s could not be buried in consecrated sacred or holy ground. Any child born to her loins would inherit her sin, destined for hell and damnation.
Devastated, yet naively obedient to the ignorant old minister, Navi was deeply hurt and at the time acquiesced to his bidding. Maturing somewhat, Navi birthed Abby, rebelliously refusing to give up another baby. In her psyche’s attempt at retaining any sense of sanity and safety, their parting rationale had translated into ‘differing lifestyle choices’ and T.J.’s lack of readiness for family life. Initially, a carte blanch explanation for church cronies and mother, a lie that had become a dark haunting shadowed truth, of how facts were perceived. While Navi was astute enough to know that the cutting words of the old minister were wrong, a part of her insecurities bought into his beliefs and hurt just the same.
Navi teared, and shared the memory with T.J. then he responded by extending a hand dramatically out to hers. Accepting, he drew her into a melting embrace, converging back into oneness.
Whispering, T.J. said, “I’ve was such an asshole, for not fighting for you long ago. I’ve had my financial clock cleaned by my soon to be ex-wife, and my business partner,” he waved an arm pointing toward the jeep, “but I’ve got a bit of cash left, enough for us to start somewhere.”
In shock, Navi’s mind assimilated a thousand bits of information, and a life, less lived. She stared into T.J.’s eyes, her mind swirling.
“Navi, you have always been and will always be my soul mate. It’s time to come home, let’s go find us a home.”
“Tom?”
An almost forgotten daughter, wrapped in Navi’s Sisterhood Shawl, hooted and shouted from the window perch, “Wahoo! Epic love fetch, Dad!” Abby hollered, giddily watching a lover’s reunion.
Grinning, T.J. brazenly pulled Navi into an embrace, one hand clenching a butt cheek, the other riffling upward to her breast and nipple.
Pushing away, Navi reeled back, “What in the hell are you doing?”
“Ah, that’s my girl. I see you’ve found your feistiness.” A hand smacked her ass, “Now go have a shower, I’ll take you and Ab to a decent motel, we’ll check in, have lunch, you can go and get your hair done. I’ll take you shopping so you can get some decent clothes. We’ll go back to the city, the suburbs and find a decent starter house.”
“What?”
Another dismissive hand smacked on her backside that sent a repulsive temper ripple up Navi’s spine, “Ah, you’re not the Tom that I thought you were. You’re just T.J.”
“Eh? What’s your problem Nav’?”
Navi grinned, illuminating confidence flowing. “No T.J.! God, I can’t believe I almost fell for your crap.”
“Ah, come on Navi,” T.J.’s chest-puffing indignation, “What kind of slum life have you got here that beats what I’m offering? I can take care of you and I don’t want to be alone. I hate being alone. I want what we had before you took off with my daughter.”
Navi grinned, turned dismissive and hesitated. “It doesn’t matter what that asshole Minister inferred or said to either of us T.J., the bottom line is, you are a pretentious asshole right now and I’m not that naive teenager you once knew. Although, I did have it right for leaving with Ab. I just didn’t remember that leaving was the right thing to do. But hey, thanks for validating it all for me.”
T.J. frowned, slumped shoulders, and downcast eyes spoke the truth of his current heartbreak and emptiness.
“Look T.J., I know what it’s like to be ditched, financially drained and alone-lost, but you are nowhere near ready for a new relationship or a renewed relationship. There are no shortcuts T.J., you must take the time and walk through the process. And yes, I like who I am now, how I am and I love my work and my life, as it is unfolding. No, you are not the Tom I thought you were a moment ago. So no thank you, but yes, thanks for trying, most illuminating. Sincerely, everything will work out fine for you, you always land on your feet.”
Navi turned on heels toward the sanctuary of the cabin. The screen door slam-bounced behind. Side glancing, she caught T.J. leaning against the jeep, dejected yet thoughtful. An alignment had shifted into place from within, as a lifetime of Mother, Aunt Diane, Gran, and the spirit world teachings finally slid into its rightful place. Easing into a smile, inhaling a sigh, she finally understood the dark shadow. The condemnation from the old minister had never belonged to her. Merely cruel words were spoken by a twisted mind in the guise of a man of God to a vulnerable and naïve young woman. The old minister was soul-sick. ‘May you find your peace with anyone else you may have harmed, with God and the all that is in your afterlife journey, old man. There shall be peace between us, no karma, it is done right here and right now.’ Navi prayed.
Finally, home in her own skin and soul. Navi beamed with soul freedom. In an instant and while she had wavered, had reclaimed power with the all that is, simply as she is. From across many lifetimes, she gathered lost and wasted energy and self-love.
Turning back to the door and holding it open to face T.J., Navi said, “I have always loved you and I will always love you but, it’s not for us to be together in this lifetime. Give yourself a year to get yourself sorted out, find out who you are and who you want to be, your next woman will be there, waiting for you.”
T.J. expressed a teary smiling grin, “Thanks Navi, I needed that, more than you know. I get it and I am sorry, for everything. I promise I will always be a phone call away if you ever need anything. In fact, I’d be happy to give you a hand around here for a week, if you like. It would do me good.”
“Thanks, T.J., I do appreciate the offer, maybe you could have the hot water tank installed?”
“You don’t have hot water? God woman, how do you manage to survive?” he chuckled. I’ll make some calls and have someone come and take care of it. And hey, before I forget, I read somewhere recently, that the name Navi means Prophet. Did you know that? When I first heard it, I thought that it was funny but now I see, that it suits you. You are one in a million Nav. I might be jealous of the lucky man who wins your heart.”
Sensing Gran and the ancient sisterhood making their presence known, Navi was now jazzed. Something had clicked within, she wanted more than to write new textbooks, she wanted to teach. Smiling, Navi’s thoughts returned to the man before her and responded, “Yes, I have heard that somewhere T.J., once or twice. You take loving care of yourself and my daughter, and stay in touch.”
Abby grinning, wrapped the old Sisterhood Shawl tightly. “Way to go, Mom! Dad came for you but that doesn’t mean that you have to accept. I think you made the right choice.”
Both Mother and Daughter turned to the computer screen. Both eyed an incoming email dinging into Navi’s inbox. A new message from Deep South Tom now openly displaying on a computer screen. Abby read the message aloud.
Dear Navi of the North;
I have booked a flight this coming Thursday with a car rental and accommodations, so I will not be a burden on you. I have boldly decided that I am coming to see you. Please advise if you don’t want to meet me. I hope, hope, hope you will say yes because I can’t stop thinking about you and I can’t wait to see you! I know with every fiber of my being, that I do, know who you are.
Please let me know if you are okay with this as I am in agony, and anxiously waiting for your reply.
Tom
Navi beamed and sighed, comfortable as her love life openly unfolded in front of Abby but more so, she was confident in her own soul skin for the first time in her life. Lovingly shoving Abby aside, Navi sat at the computer and scrolled through her email past Deep South Tom’s message to a previously disregarded Board Member’s invitation to attend an international conference in Arizona. Answering an inner calling, she clicked ‘yes’ on the confirmation. She had no idea how she could finance the trip, yet knew somehow, someway, a way and means would come.
Abby smiled and kissed her mother then turned, stretched and leaned out of the window, shouting, “Dad?” Laughing, and lovingly she offered, “You are an asshole sometimes, but we love you! I’ll be out in a minute and you can take me out for a swanky dinner, a motel and shopping.”
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