Being an expert at ADHD (60 years personal firsthand experience of having it!), I have learned that there is a plus side we need to take advantage of.

ADHD: CURSE OR GIFT?
By
Bill Cottringer

ADHD: Curse of Gift? The simple answer is both. The complex one is that it depends upon where the person is in his or her developmental level. The main question is, does the curse control the person or does the person control the gift. Or, is the tail wagging the dog or is the dog wagging the tail? I have studied ADHD for nearly 60 years now and am ready to share the results of one very in-depth, classic case study—myself. 

As a child I would have gotten double “X’s” on every symptom checklist available. I ran and climbed constantly as if I had nuclear power, talked incessantly without having the time or interest in listening, and rudely interrupted others blurting out what I just had to say. I never followed directions—especially the ones that made the most sense, and jumped from one thing to the next without ever finishing anything completely or correctly.

I forgot things quickly, lost important items, fidgeted, and didn’t want anything touching my body. I made entirely too many mistakes, felt odd and peculiarly different from others, and jumped into too many empty swimming pools before thinking first. Sometimes I think I lead about five people’s lives in one single chronological time frame. Exhausting, to say the least!

I was never even aware of what might be wrong with me (although I did sense something wasn’t right) until my own daughter was diagnosed with the same disorder within one minute into an appointment at a psychiatrist’s office in Miami. And even this valuable clue didn’t sink in enough to help me stop a wake of destruction I left in my own life that included more job, family, financial and relationship failures than I want to remember. Approaching the age of 60 virtually homeless, jobless, broke and alone is not an experience I would recommend for others. It is a life of failure that can no longer be denied.

We all look for explanations—especially in response to failures. And so, unknowingly I spent most of my life looking for all the wrong reasons for my own failures and probably prolonged a life of failure in the process.

Of course the plus side of all this is that I finally ran out of things to do in the lopsided place where most other ADHD “victims” spend most of their time—and somehow started migrating towards a healthier middle ground where you have a much better view of things. This is ironic, given the fact that I have been a hostage of this “here and now” middle temporal position all along. But moving like a Tasmanian Devil, you don’t see anything but a blur.

The rest of this article is about the better view I have discovered. I guess it is never too late to start over again. At least I have my physical health, positive attitude and a more balanced position from which to see things.

The longer I live, the more certain I am that all experiences we have had are training and preparation for dealing more effectively with what is to come—especially the smaller painful, uncomfortable “failures” in life that may be trying to warn us that the light at the end of the tunnel may be a freight train.  When that turns out to be the case, it is time to jump aboard and ride that freight train out of the tunnel. I have also realized that things are not always as they first appear. How can they from a lopsided position?  These two insights were born out of ADHD frustration. Oddly they may be a door to the real cure beyond symptom-repressing medication.

Having survived ADHD through adulthood without Ritalin, I eventually learned one very important thing about the disorder—that some of the more prevalent symptoms can actually be turned into productive behaviors with transformational thinking. Of course the bad news is that this takes a long time (at least it did for me).  It is not a quick cure; but it is a more permanent one.

Understanding ADHD is difficult because you have to actually experience the intensity of the compounding interaction and tornado-like vicious circle nature of the four main symptoms—hyperactivity, inattention, impulsivity and hypersensitivity. The general feeling is that your head and body are going to explode with the mounting frustration from not getting anywhere, no matter how hard you try. The “all or nothing” results you immediately need only make matters worse. Somehow, I finally learned how to slow down, stop the blur, get to a more balanced viewpoint and step outside this vicious circle to see how these symptoms were perpetuating my own failures.

Consider the four major symptoms of ADHD—how they make the child feel, and how these symptoms can be used for productive outcomes—with positive thinking as an adult.

Maybe this information can help plant the seeds for your own change if you have this disorder or perhaps understand and deal with your ADHD children better if you have, interact with, or teach them.  

SYMPTOM	FEELINGS AS A CHILD	POSITIVE ADULT THOUGHTS
Hyperactivity	--I feel panicky and desperate to get everything done before time runs out. --I feel stupid and inadequate for being in too big of a hurry and not taking the time to do things right the first time. --I wish I could just slow down and relax like everybody else. --I have to try everything before I know what I like. --When will my body and mind ever stop moving…I feel like I am about to explode with frustration!	--I can use all this energy to get four times as much done; if I slow down I will actually get more done. --I can learn a lot from repairing all my rushed jobs and save time in the future. --I will sleep well from doing so much. --I will eventually know what I really like, having done so much. --The more I experience, the more I know, and the more I can use productively.
Inattention	--I don’t have any problem focusing on things I like; people even complain about me being obsessive about some things. --I hate screwing up by not paying attention but I can’t help it. --Why am I never satisfied? There are too many things I want to do. --Why does it take me so long to see what others see so quickly and effortlessly? --These needless details are boring; I want to see some results!	--Maybe I need to vary my interests a little and open up to paying more attention to things I don’t like to learn more. --If I pay attention I will save time and be able to do what I really want to do later. --I just need to enjoy the many things I do like, more. --Maybe I should ask them how they do that. --Maybe I can get better results quicker with a few more details.
Impulsivity	--All that counts is having fun now; I’ll deal with the future later. --It’s more fun being free, besides I can’t control myself even if I wanted to. --We were meant to enjoy life, not think about it. --I just want to hurry up and get to it! --It’s more fun to let go and be free and not worry about consequences.	--I can have fun and still not jeopardize my future. --I can control myself gradually, by focusing on the little things first—one thing at a time. --You can get more enjoyment by improving the quality of your thinking. --Anticipation can be enjoyable. --You can have more fun and be freer by doing things that have positive consequences.
Hypersensitivity	--There is something different about me. I worry about being abnormal. --Why am I the one who always has to change? --Why does everyone always find fault with me? --I feel this vague potential for greatness inside but it is just frustrating; I am getting nowhere fast. --It hurts to be so misunderstood all the time and I feel angry about that sometimes.	-- Maybe we all feel this way and I need to find out by asking others. --If I change for the better, I will be ahead of everybody else. --I just need to learn how to push people’s buttons the right way. --I need to translate my daydreaming fantasies into concrete goals and specific actions to make progress.   --Maybe if I find out what I am doing to be misunderstood I can help people to know me better.

   Overcoming the negative aspects of ADHD is a matter of using these behaviors positively to get to where you want to be. First, you have to understand how you are reacting to the symptoms and how they are controlling you (holding you hostage) and keeping you from being where you want to be. In essence, you have to see just how lopsided you have become. Then you begin to see ways to direct all your boundless energy more positively and productively to get better outcomes in moving towards a more balanced position so you can begin to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

     As a person with ADHD, you have some disadvantages that just need to be seen as advantages—kind of like making lemonade from lemons or building a door to knock on when one isn’t there.

     The key is to gradually transform negative, unproductive thoughts and feelings into more positive, productive behaviors that get better results—turning your liabilities into assets one by one. Fortunately you have boundless energy to do this, once you start directing it at the real culprit—the negative interpretation of your symptoms, which is holding you hostage in a lopsided room without a view.   There is a plus side to ADHD!

William Cottringer is President of Puget Sound Security in Bellevue, WA. . He is also author of You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too, a self-help book for those who want to be more successful by using transformational thinking. He can be reached at bcottringer.pssp.net