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Elaine Carey

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Women are Nuts
by Elaine Carey   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
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...and other truths men pass on to sons about intersexual relationships.





     For instance, Sam reported to me the other day that he and our son talk almost every day now. The topic of their recent jaunt to the gym covered the idea that "all women are nuts.  They are just nuts in different ways and in different degrees."  Of course, if I had been present and interjected my thoughts, the discussion would have ceased to be a man-to-man chat. 

     I would have retorted:  "We must be nuts to put up with the likes of you. We date men, marry men, give birth to boys who become men, and we adore men, but oh, the things we tolerate.Yup. We're crazy."

   Sam loyally reported to me that one conclusion they agreed upon was that I am less nuts as a wife and mom than many other women in the world.  I can't take umbrage to this.  Since the way females reason and behave is so foreign and illogical to guys, they fee compelled to tag our behavior in some way in order to deal with it.  I can live with that.

     For my part, there are many nuances of male behavior that totally escape my comprehension.  For instance, these guys who have so much trouble waking up for school can pop out of bed to work out the gym.  Ditto for fishing, hunting, or hiking when we're on vacation. This collides with my conviction that days off are designed for lounging late or reading, unless there is shopping involved.

     Also, men are so brilliant in some domains and dunces in others.  They can figure out the workings of cars and computers, DVD players and cell phones, but the intricacies of the stove, toaster, and microwave evade their mental grasp.  Why is this so?  They seem perfectly comfortable cooking over campfires, grills, and smokers.  Maybe it's the ancient smoke-and-fire connection.  Perhaps I can't unravel the motivations behind male thought patterns because I'm female--and therefore, nuts.

     The other night, Sam and I were out Christmas shopping and we witnessed a miracle in male-female interaction.  We were eating at Charcoal Chicken.  It's a great restaurant with healthy, low-cholestrol choices.  We suddenly noticed that we were surrounded with middle aged couples eating out on Friday night.  None of them appeared to be fighting, and they all seemed quite enamored with each other.  In light of the fact that they were probably out Christmas shopping like us, the festive atmosphere was quite remarkable.  No cross-gender activitiy is fraught with potential conflict like shopping.  Choice of merchant and spending are open for debate.  Plastic or paper money? Gift cards or tidy packages wrapped and bowed? Foley's or Bass Pro Shop?  And yet, there were all those couples ordering food together and chatting amicably. It certainly cheers my heart that men and women can put aside their differences for joint projects like shopping, vacations, and romance.  I think it helps to be nuts--at least about one's spouse.
 
 
  
  
  


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Reviewed by Mark Carroll
Reviewed on December 13, 2004
Thanks for sharing this entertaining piece.

Everyone knows women are nuts and men are just the way they are.

Have a happy holiday season.

Mark

Reviewed by Cynthia Borris
Reviewed on December 12, 2004
Bess,

Great ending!

Cynthia

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