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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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Hinkly Dinkly Reporting

I never get a rest.
Ha Ha! That may be good!…Read on!

SLEEP DEPRIVATION: THE GREAT AMERICAN MYTH

That’s the headline, but the news itself is a real grabber…

People who get only 6 to 7 hours sleep a night have a lower death rate than those who get 8 hours of sleep.

That mystifying news is “From a six-year study of more than a million adults ages 30 to 102.”

The study was done by a psychiatry professor at a major university, who says, "There is really no evidence that the average 8-hour sleeper functions better than the average 6- or 7-hour sleeper,"

He claims pharmaceuticals are falsely stating a need for more slumber so they can sell sleeping pills, when in fact, (according to him), “Those who took sleeping pills nightly had a greater risk of death than those who took them occasionally, but the latter risk was still 10 to 15 percent higher than it was among people who never took sleeping pills.”

That is the gist of the article, which was rather lengthy. I must wonder about any study involving mortality rates, which could cover a wide spectrum of causes, when involving a million people?

“Ok, you are in that group. You sleep 6-7 hours a night. The other group will sleep 8. We’ll call you in 6 years.”

Six years later they call the 6-7 hour group…everybody’s fine. Then they call the 8-hour group and figure whoever doesn’t answer the phone must be dead.

I also must question the age bracket, 30 to 102. Isn’t it a little late to check the tendencies of someone over a hundred?

I brought the study to Doctor Swigman Fwad.

He said, “Theoretically, it seems logical to assume that a person who sleeps longer will get up later and thus live longer whereas a person who gets up early will be doing everything sooner and thus die quicker, unless he dies in his sleep…which could happen if he sleeps longer?”

I’m going back to bed!

Hinkly Out!
By George



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Reviewed by Susan Sonnen
Reviewed on March 25, 2006
Very good! I had similar questions when I read the article a few minutes ago. I love your humor!

Susan

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