DETOUR - CONSTRUCTION - go this way --->

OOPS! GOTCHA! - go this way --->

PARDON US - while we make yet another improvement - BLOWING YOUR HARD-EARNED TAX DOLLARS!

Road Crews vs. Roaches

© - Tom Hyland - 10-07-08


Have you ever noticed the resemblance? Somehow they pop up everywhere - at the worst times, in the worst places. They are always unwelcome - always wreak havoc on traffic - and rarely have a sensible order about them.

For example, instead of some logical, common sense PLAN - like fix the whole darn block, or street, or whatever - all at once, and actually FINISH the job - instead - they tear up one portion or section, for a few days, then move the construction/destruction site, right around the corner to the next, or adjoining street - DON’T finish it, then go back and screw up the first part again!

A case in point - the North-Western portion of Kenwood Avenue in Baltimore County - the rip-up-the-street and create-huge-pot-holes project started way back in January. Two different Detours were set up, kind of like making the edges of a Football, each curving around the sides of the straight center - BUT - each section of the detours was done as a TWO-WAY route, on very narrow streets, where opposing traffic each way had no room to pass one another! DUH! This caused slowness and further back-ups, especially during morning and evening Rush-Hour traffic.

Do you think that the Brain-Trusts that were in charge of such a project could have used some common sense? Like, for instance, make each detour ONE-WAY - the one on the Right, going North-West to be one-way North - and the other side on the Left, coming one-way South-East. This would have eliminated so many delays and back-ups, and reduced Road-Rage to a minimum. DUH!

Now, just assume that this project was really important, and necessary, and had some kind of an assigned DEADLINE, wouldn’t the above suggestion have made sense, especially if it was going to take a whole month to complete? But, what if January, then February went by - then March, April, May, June, July, August, and finally September? NINE WHOLE MONTHS ELAPSED!

And during those never-ending construction months, you would actually see some Progress - holes would be replaced by humps and lumps - stones and gravel and crushed run would make way for actual paving of asphalt, or Macadam - all the big round manholes, sewer and water main access plates, would stop beating up your tires and shocks - and then - OOPS! They forgot something, or something broke, or was wrong, and VOILA! They would then RIP-UP the brand spanking NEW asphalt, and start over again. DUH!

Could it possibly be that the ‘guvmint’ simply needed to BLOW some budget money? You know, like - if you don’t use up this fiscal year’s allocations, you won’t get MORE for next year’s? That would explain January through June, wouldn’t it? And then when July started, and all those LEGAL AMERICAN CITIZENS were all taking turns, going on vacation in July, August, and September - all those NO HABLA INGLES green-card laborers on the project could accrue some possible Overtime - NAH! That would be totally inefficient and UN-Patriotic, wouldn’t it?

Oh yeah - why the comparison with ROACHES? Unsightly - Repulsive - Aggravating - Wasteful - Destructive - Exasperating - and like an ever-spreading disease - they’re EVERYWHERE!

And - have you ever noticed how many WHITE-HATS are standing around chatting with each other, while three or four workers are actually digging holes, or doing work? Usually about five or six! These are the Stupid-Advisors, who probably NO COMPRENDE ESPANOL, and are trying to figure out how to tell the workers that they are digging in the WRONG spot! El Wrongo Spoto!

Oh - while we’re at it, another interesting phenomenon I’ve noticed more often than not - whenever there is an accident anywhere on any roadway, have you ever witnessed exactly how and where the POLICE CARS PARK? You got it - in the worst places, blocking the road, making the backup even worse! Instead of pulling closer to the shoulders, and actually AIDING the flow of traffic, they are usually standing around gabbing with one another, probably killing time until their shift changes!

Just today, I was heading South on Saint Paul Street, in downtown Baltimore. It is a major thoroughfare, and is one-way. At the intersection with North Avenue, where there is a traffic light and it is four lanes wide - there they sat! Not one, not two, but three Transportation Department Police Cars - the first, parked on the left, going the WRONG WAY, blocking the left-turn lane - the second, on the right, blocking the right-turn lane, and the third one, around the corner, on North Avenue, blocking the right-hand lane there. Luckily, whatever the real problem had been, it was already resolved and cleared - BUT - there they still sat - EMPTY - and still obstructing traffic! Could it have possibly been just a DOUGHNUT BREAK? What a Country!

For other related pertinent information such as this, see my article entitled “Humps, Bumps, And Thumps” posted quite some time ago.

In closing, less I be remiss - I recently stated that I would TRY to avoid the Negative, and accentuate more of the Positive. To that end, I am POSITIVE of two things -

1. Road Crews are like Roaches! And …
2. Sometimes - MOST TIMES, our government, at every level - SUCKS!

The End - © - TKH.