Let's face it...having hospital tests are NO picnic.

I was a medical services specialist/technician in the USAF. Being in the medical field can be hard on a body, especially on backs.

I injured mine, in 1983, while helping to transfer a patient from gurney to bed. All I did was twist, just a little, & this white-hot pain went down my leg. I like to have fell out with the intensity of it. After a while, it started to ease up, so I thought it was nothing. Sure, I had this nagging pain, but naahhh...nothing I couldn't live with.

Only it continued. It wasn't severe, just...annoying. Everytime I'd stand up or sit down, I'd get this "grabbing" sensation down my left leg, along with a burning pain. The pain then moved up into my back...& I finally had it. I scheduled an appointment with a doctor.

He tested my reflexes & examined me; he said there was a possibility I'd injured a nerve; he admitted me; & I was now on the other side of the charts. A patient. This could become a valuable learning experience! Oh--by the way, we'd like to do some tests...

So, I'm admitted. The first test scheduled was an EMG, or nerve conduction study. Electromyography is the medical name. Basically, fine needles are inserted into the muscles & minor shocks are passed through the needles; how the nerves & muscles react determine if there's a problem or not. OW. It was rather uncomfortable, but not unbearable...depending on the results of the EMG, I might or might not have to have further testing.

There was a problem, so a myelographic study was the next test on tap. In this test, a spinal tap is done, the fluid analyzed, & radiopaque dye is injected through the spinal needle into the canal; it shows up white on x-ray film, & any problems can (hopefully) be identified.

Well, I couldn't eat before the test. I was STARVING. I'd have eaten anything at this point! My room-mate was no help..."MMMM, this is good food." "Look what my husband brought me...a Whopper!!" I wanted to kill her...

Around noon, the nurse came in & announced that I was going to have to have an IV. Nice! The veins on the back of my hand disappeared...chickens. The biggest one she could find? She missed. She found another one. She missed. (I told her, "Lady, three strikes, you're outta here!") FINALLY, she found this itty-bitty-teeny-tiny vein right next to a knuckle & got it.

The x-ray techs came to take me to my room around an hour later. As soon as I got into that cold x-ray room, I had to pee.

Told the doctor I had to...um...borrow the bathroom. "Hurry up," he said. Ahhhhhh...relief! Got back into the room, climbed up onto the table, & as soon as my bare bottom hit that cold, hard slab known as the x-ray table, I had to go again. I told the doctor this, & he was more than a little annoyed. "HURRY UP," I was told.

I hurried the best I could, got back up onto the table, & wouldn't you know it. I hadda go again! "No," he said, VERY irritated, "You do NOT have to go, it's all in your mind, we're doing this test, & we're doing it NOW!!"

The doctor proceeded to do the myelogram. It is...PAINFUL. The table you're laying on tilts up & down & up & down, so the doctor can direct the flow of the dye he's injected into your spinal canal, to show up any "defects." I suddenly got the urge...if I didn't get to go to the bathroom soon, I was gonna bust! I tried to tell the doc this, but he didn't want to hear of it. "You just don't want to take this test," he roared. (Actually, I didn't, but couldn't exactly back out now, especially since I was in the middle of it!) That's when it happenend...oops. He REALLY got sore...I don't know why, I tried to tell him! Then, I got nauseated...whoops.

I suddenly got hot...then cold (-er, since I was already freezing), then hot again. My feet started twitching, then my legs...I don't remember anything after that.

What happened? The only time in my life this has happened, I had an allergic reaction to the dye they used & had a seizure. They injected some Valium into my IV & it was good night, nurse! Took a ride on the T-zone special! Out there in la-la land! I woke up FOUR DAYS LATER.

FOUR DAYS. What I'd like to know is, what happened in that four day span of time? I was robbed!! I want those four days back!!!!!