My book titled: Beyond my Control touches on my battle with the highly dangerous eating disorder--anorexia nervosa.
Anorexia Nervosa – Control over your body & mind
As a teenager I enjoyed food, especially chocolate and sweets and became considerably overweight. Being overweight had never concerned me until we moved into a new area, and I attended the local secondary college. At the beginning I didn’t have any problems adjusting to the new school, until some students teased me about my weight
My life was soon about to change, I took control and went on a diet. I stopped eating lunch and carefully monitored what I was eating in the hope of losing weight. After a few weeks I was becoming impatient, as there were no significant visual changes in my appearance, and I was still being taunted and ridiculed. I adopted an overzealous much more drastic approach and became totally obsessed with food––resulting in an unhealthy desire to lose weight and become slim. Within a relatively short time, I had accomplished what I set out to do—but had gone much too far. Similarly, to all addictions I was no longer in control! I was now eating next to nothing and by anyone’s standards—painfully thin.
Anorexia being a psychological disease, I continued to avoid food as I had a dreaded fear that I would once again become overweight. After school I managed to obtain a part time job at our local petrol station. I enjoyed working immensely as it allowed me freedom and an opportunity for my mind to concentrate on something other than food. I would spend a considerable amount of my weekly wage on chocolate and sugary treats which I happily gave to my family. I didn’t consume any of the treats, strangely; I derived pleasure watching my family enjoy them. Over a period of six months, I had reduced my daily consumption to water and just the odd cup of coffee. I would put on a pretence that I was eating, however, I was just playing with my food and spitting it out in napkins—I was weak and tired. The owner of the petrol station drove me home on two occasions during this period as I had fainted at work.
After seeing our family doctor, he believed I should see someone who specialized in eating disorders. The day I saw the specialist he officially diagnosed me as anorexic. I was absolutely horrified when he informed me of the gravity of my illness and why I must be hospitalised immediately. The year was 1976, I was fifteen.
After my first night in hospital, upon waking, I got dressed in the hope of going home. Three months passed before I was eventually able to leave—still very underweight and feeble. After a few weeks I gained only a small amount of weight and my mind was constantly preoccupied with food. To try and break the vicious cycle I was in, my father considered a total change in lifestyle may be beneficial for me. He was right; this was the turning point of becoming free from anorexia nervosa.
I spent the next two year’s living and working in England. As time passed my preoccupation with food lessened allowing for a more positive outlook on life. Relieved that food was no longer at the forefront of my mind another condition suddenly enters my life—epilepsy, and the beginning of: Beyond my Control…..
Thank you, for taking time to read my latest article. Good health and happiness to all.