A Brief Visit
edited: Tuesday, April 09, 2002
By Paul Francis Mc Cann
Posted: Monday, April 08, 2002
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A look into the grief caused by Miscarriage and also the support of people who care and share that grief .
A BRIEF VISIT
By Paul Mc Cann
Married life for many people is a journey of ups and downs .
Before I was married I never understood how many changes my life would go through . Readjusting a bachelor lifestyle and compromising everything in the name of love is the first personal sacrifice .
The sacrifices grow as children arrive , and the marriage takes on new meaning and enters a lifestyle we are not trained for but something paternally and maternally awakens within us and parenting comes naturally to us all .
A home is not a home until the children come . When a new baby is born there is a great pride and purpose in the marriage .
A new life and a new beginning in the journey of life .
My wife and I have had 4 children in 6 years of marriage and our children have taught us what sacrifice is all about .
I realise now what my own parents may have gone through in raising up 5 children in difficult times .
I get strength knowing how much love they had for me and I can honestly say their love has imparted everything that I do and remains part of me as a parent .
In life there is also death , one is never prepared for this , and with pregnancy there is also miscarriage . After 2 miscarriages in the last 5 years , I thought about how special they can be to a married couple .
The loss of a baby during pregnancy is one of the hurts we share in married life . It is a very personal experience no one prepares us for .
With the first sign of a threatened miscarriage alarm bells ring and as the waiting game begins so does the feelings of guilt and fear
haunt as we look for a reason why this thing has occurred but it simply seems to me that there doesnt need to be a reason why , the best way of coping is by accepting it just the way it is .
When realisation comes and a miscarriage has happened the sense of grief is shared by both partners and during this time the love of a couple grows deep and strong . Coping in the hard times is how two people grow as a married couple .
Faith is understanding that God knows best even when it hurts .
I wonder why people regard miscarriage as a taboo and something never to talk about . Is it because they think it might happen to them , or is it because they have been hurt by the experience . I feel there is much to be gained from miscarriage rather than lost .
Life is brief and its how we are able to look at situations and sum up their positive worth to us and then understand everything is beautiful .
With each miscarriage there are other factors that present themselves .
Ive found a great love and support of people in the community who have the ability to reach out and help couples with the loss .
I never knew how caring people could be until this happened .
There is nothing like having family and friends who flock to help and support .
These are very moving moments in life that show how love is the most powerful force on earth .It is wonderful to have people around you rejoice with new life but it is also very encouraging when I see many more people
out there who want to help with the loss of life .
The End By Paul Mc Cann