Has Martin T. Ingham lost his mind?

As the waning days of summer shine their last rays, I find myself contemplating many things. This has been an interesting year for me, on a personal level. There have been many ups and downs, and I know things are going to keep rolling along this rollercoaster course for a good while to come.

So, want to know what I've been doing lately? No? Well, fine then. I don't want to know what you've been doing, either. No, don't tell me. It'll only give me nightmares to hear about your amazing adventures, and personal exploits. What? Stop it! Oh, no! Hideous imagery burning into my brain. Blood shooting out of my eyes. Ahhhhh!

But, seriously, life has been dragging along at its own hectic pace, and I'd like you all to know that I'm still alive, if not wealthy. Work is tiring, but it's there, and within the next few weeks I'll have a new baby daughter to occupy my time. I'm not complaining; children are the future. Offspring=power! Soon, my genetic legion shall spread across the face of the Earth, conquering all they see, and finally, when I am installed as emperor of the solar system... oops, sorry. Please disregard the last few sentences. You didn't hear that from me. There must have been a crossed cell-phone signal, or something.

By now, you must be questioning my sanity, and with good cause. Though, it's all in good fun. Besides, all writers have to be a little crazy. Why else would we try to make a living in a market that's so crowded and devoid of profit for 99% of participants? Yes, all writers are nutjobs (especially the rich, successful ones). Remember, you heard it here first!

On that note, it's time for a commercial interlude. Over the last few weeks, I've taken the time to release both "Prisoner of Time" and "The Rogue Investigations" on Amazon Kindle, so people can buy cheaper, digital versions of these books. "The Guns of Mars" was released on Kindle by Pill Hill Press months ago. If you have a Kindle, get all of these books asap. Print versions are of course still available. Don't be cheap like Howie Carr. Buy my books today!

Now, back to our program...

As I said, my daughter's birth is imminent. She could come at any day, though she's estimated time of arrival is September 20th (Doctors like to throw out dates to make you think they know what they're talking about—zing!) After long discussion and perilous negotiations, Jenna and I have decided to name her Kathryn Zoe Ingham. Please note the spelling: K-A-T-H-R-Y-N. It's not Catherine, Katherine, or Cathy (and it's not Moira, either, but that's another story). Rest assured, she will spend half her life correcting people on the proper spelling of her first name, and the other half correcting people on the spelling of her last (at least, until she gets married, and even then...) And to think, we're trying to NOT give our kids strange names! Common ones are enough trouble as it is.

By now, you may wonder if I've been drinking, but no. I am 100% sober (that's 99% more sober than your average congressman!). It's important to make light of things now and again, because everything is so darn serious these days. It's cheaper to write like a drunk than to actually imbibe poisonous beverages, so here I am, acting like a bad stand-up comedian. Or is that stand-up Canadian? Bah, same difference.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to work, which may or may not include killing ants, battling midget ninjas, and eating pie. Have a bang-up week, Govnah!