edited: Monday, January 24, 2011
By Richard Lee King
Rated "G" by the Author.
Posted: Monday, January 24, 2011
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Some times my brain just takes off on a tangent and stuff starts spilling out of my pen. The following is the result of one of those unusual times.
Have ya ever thought much about ants? Seriously, have ya ever even thought about em at all?
Thousands of the little buggers, maybe even hundreds of thousands, all living in one big hill with a bunch of tunnels and all day long the only thing they do is keep making more tunnels,,,,,, for their whole life they are carrying two or three times their own weight out of the tunnel and piling it up. Then somebody comes along and messes with them. Somebody steps on their “hill” and crushes half of their best buddy’s or maybe their dad, brother or sister. Who knows which, they all look pretty much alike. They probably can’t even tell each other apart. Wouldn’t it be hell to fall in love and then find out it’s your sister….. Or worse, what if it was your brother. Like I said, they all look alike, who can even tell the boys from the girls. Worse of all, maybe they are all unisex and nobody gets any, except of course, the queen.
What if one day a buddy gets out side the tunnel and gets stepped on and never comes back, do you think they miss him? Do you think they even know he’s gone. Hell no!!! The queen ant has already pumped out another bunch of brothers, or buddies. Besides, there are tunnels to build.
You’re working you buns off and suddenly you can feel everything shaking. It’s that damn homeowner mowing the grass again and sure as shootin’ he’ll mow right over the hill. He’s gonna’ have to pay for that!!! We’ll have to have our cousins infiltrate his house and get into his sugar and stuff. Or, better yet, maybe we can get our cousins, the fire ants to attack his family next time they go on a picnic. That would serve him right. Maybe he’ll learn to appreciate us more.
Then there comes a day when you finally get your tunnel all cleared out and working just the way the Queen wants it and it starts raining. The tunnels all flood and you haven’t learned to swim yet. Crap!!!! It’s always something. Then the rain keeps coming and coming and the tunnels all start caving in. I can see it now, more digging coming up tomorrow.
Even worse, some smart ass dumps gasoline all over your hill and lights it. All your buddies get torched, burnt bodies everywhere and all that Queen Bitch wants is more tunnels dug. Carry out those bodies and get back to work digging.
Come to think about it, that kinda sounds like an infantry soldier during a tour of duty in Afghanistan, doesn’t it? Guess it could be worse.
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|Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
|Welcome to ant world. I try to coexist and leave them to their world outside. But I really don't like them invading my kitchen and cupboards. They like the weirdest stuff. Must be California ants. Patrick|
|Reviewed by Regis Schilken
|Just read this article about ant life. I guess the little creatures have no real sense of awareness. Problem is, the boys in Afghanistan do.
I remember one time deliberately sticking a branch into one of those large above ground ant hills. I guess it's the detritus from their underground diggings. I was standing in some grass when I did it. When I felt the first ant crawling up my leg, I wiped it off--only to find 1000s of them buzzing about. I got out of there quickly.
I've been enjoying your writing.
|Reviewed by Felix Perry
|May be rambling as you say but it does make alot of sense especially the ending,
|Reviewed by karen logan
|Very cute Richard and yes I have thought about it. I watched two ants clean out a cupboard after a spray. All the ants but those two were dead. One by one they carried each carcus to the edge of the cupboard and threw it over the edge. Craziest think I have ever seen. Thanks for sharing. And by the way, the ant picture says it all!. Karen|
|Reviewed by Chip Bergeron
|Oooh....that little philippic has a nasty sting!!!