AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Dadfire, iSergio Serrano, Ph.D., iOdin odin@aflx.com, iRoger Vizi, iDavid Schwinghammer, iMargot Dillard, i RickthePoetWarrior, iJ and C Wordsmiths, iM. R. Mathias, iGracie McKeever, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Blog
· Messages
· 622 Titles
· 377 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

   newsletter

Subscribe to the By George xx xx Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Name:
Email:
By George xx xx, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen!

Books by
By George xx xx



See all Books
by By George xx xx


Normal Shopping
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
By George xx xx

• Shot/No Shot
• Mutant
• Spark Plug
• That's Life!
• Power Outage
           >> View all

Almost.

REAL NEWS
I know its real because I lived it.

First I have a question. How many of you know somebody who died from the Corona Virus? How many know somebody who has/had it?
I have yet to meet a single person who knows somebody with it? Thank God for that!

News from, “The Front.”
I just got back from shopping. Everything looks almost normal. The stores have everything except what they usually are out of. I got bagels! So I’m good for another week! I usually get Sara Lee, but that baker hadn’t arrived yet, so I got Bubba’s Bagels. They are just as good but I think Bubba kind of dips to the left cause they’re always cut crooked. There are still a few empty isles here and there. They have big feet glued to the floor to separate everyone for social distancing.

I saw a sweet little ol lady pushing a cart-full.
I said, “That’s a real nice mask. Did you make it yourself?”
She got real snippy and mumbled all kinds of nasty words at me and her mask was wet with dribbling. I vanished into another isle.

At the checkout they had a sign saying only two of certain things can be purchased including toilet paper, paper towels, etc. At the top of the list was eggs.

I said, “I have a question about that sign.”
“What?”
“It says only two eggs can be purchased. Eggs come in dozens. How can you just buy two?”

This confused her and she was thinking about it.

“I’m kidding…It means two dozen!”

She smiled and said, “OH…” (She really didn’t know?)

All these people can do is scan & bag. Ask them a question and they haven’t a clue?

When I loaded my vehicle I saw that I was not very far from the front of the store, so I pushed my empty cart to the others.
A guy jumped out and said, “You can’t put that cart there! They have to be sanitized!”
I said, “Sorry, I must have lost my head.”
He looked at me like I was crazy…as I said everything is almost back to normal.

By George
NoPo8


Want to review or comment on this article?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Popular Humor Articles
  1.  Crash Dummies
  2.  Penny Power
  3.  Pedicure and Chicken
  4.  Beware the Tsundoku!
  5.  Snow White Trailer Trash Talk
  6.  How to Survive Bean Soup, The Game.
  7.  Poetry Submission
  8.  Losing Ticket
  9.  Shot/No Shot
  10.  Dilatation of Closed Phrenix Confabula
  11.  Kaltenheiss's famed Katya im Boxer qua
  12.  Getting Old In The Real World
  13.  Precedent Linkin's Gettysberg A Dress
  14.  More GFI
  15.  Breaking Bad meets Star Trek and Pies
  16.  Imminent Danger
  17.  The Left-Handed Heart
  18.  The Great Turtle Stampede
  19.  Toughest Million
  20.  Spark Plug
  21.  Battle of the Bulge: Jesus Hates Speed
  22.  My colonoscopy 3/20/14 – I have to tel
  23.  Problem Solving, Or The Day My Septic
  24.  Segments from a Bifurcated Life
  25.  NEW KEYBOARD

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V is humorous adult literature featuring adult content and language. The work satirizes and spoofs thirteen classic tales from U.S. and British literature, a  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II is adult literature featuring adult language and situations that satirizes thirteen famous novellas and short stories. It is Jay Dubya's sixteenth ebook.  
Member BookAds

The Council by T. Weber

A naïve councilman and a down-on-her-luck single mom try to save their county’s last stand of forest from greedy developers and a dysfunctional government.  
Member BookAds