AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Dietmar Rothe, i RickthePoetWarrior, iMiller Caldwell, iDavid Schwinghammer, iDavid Arthur Walters, iMaria Rushing, iFrank Ryan, iRoxanne Howe-Murphy, iRoger Vizi, iFlo Fitzpatrick, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Ian R Thorpe

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Blog
· 414 Titles
· 1,418 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

   newsletter

Subscribe to the Ian R Thorpe Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Name:
Email:
Ian R Thorpe, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen!

Books by
Ian R Thorpe











See all Books
by Ian R Thorpe



Pants!
by Ian R Thorpe → (All Poetry by Ian R Thorpe)
   Not rated by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook

An oldie but still quite amusing. You don't have pants in America - well obviously you have pants or guzzies, undercrackers etc. but not in the same context. Soggy sandwiches are pants as are Gameshows on daytime TV,
really great stuff you order that's out of stock, thin soup (that's out of stock too!) and cough syrup. OK you get the idea. This is a poem to recite when life is pants. Comic verse from Ian



PANTS!

The fluff that gathers in your navel
Scratchy corners on a shirt label
Great times that always end too soon
Farty smells in the bathroom


THEY’RE PANTS

Sand and grit in mayonnaise
A nasty zit that stays and stays
Too little relish on your burger
The bank can’t stretch your credit further


IT’S PANTS

Dropping gravy down your tie
Burning your tongue on apple pie
Beer that’s weak and flat and bland
A concert where you have to stand,


ALL PANTS

Traffic jams in all big cities
Girls who only have small hands ( ! )

THAT'S PANTS


When life falls short of expectations
And each day brings you new frustrations,


JUST SAY ITS PANTS.

Link to a story of hoe political correctness made Chistmas pants for som kids in Britain.
 
  

 


A Crisis In Englishmens Pants

Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "Pants!"
Reviewed by Kimmy Van Kooten
Reviewed on December 22, 2006
PANTS huh? like sand in long neckers...those are clams!
HA!
Love it!
Love and Peace~
Kimmy~

Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader)
Reviewed on December 5, 2006
Oh my

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on December 5, 2006
thanks for sharing...next time I will know better what to say about

THOSE pants situations!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)
Reviewed on December 4, 2006
I have family and friends in England. I just realized when they visit, they haven't a clue what I am saying.

Here we say "panting."

Elizabeth (Bette)

Reviewed by CJ Heck
Reviewed on December 4, 2006
LOL, Excellent! I've learned a new expression AND I've just read a dynamite poem by you, Ian. Again, Excellent!
Love,
CJ


New Poetry by Ian R Thorpe
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  5.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  6.  Milkman's letter
  7.  Laughing As I Flee...
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  A Salt and Batter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  14.  My First Heart Attack
  15.  The Last Second
  16.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  17.  Houston Greats
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Burst Forth
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Bayou Valentine by Riley Blake

Fortune Redding faces her fears in an unlikely situation and barely escapes with her life.  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics satirizes and lampoons thirteen famous short fiction works that are given new adult spins.  
Member BookAds

Twain: Tattered, Trounced, Tortured and Traumatized by Jay Dubya

Author Jay Dubya satirizes 20 Mark Twain stories in adult language and content.  
Member BookAds