Crying was not allowed

She only cries when it's raining..
Drops of salvation from the skies..
In the rain no one sees her heart break
no one sees her lies....
They know not that she cries..
Tears hidden in every drop..
Never will they know..
She has been waiting for this rain..
to finally let her feelings flow..
to let lose of some of this pain
That few would ever know..
She cries for her loss..
for all she cannot be..
She cries from the guilt.
she carries religiously..
The tears roll down her face
and fall to the ground..
water rising fast..
she prays that she will drown..
She looks up to heavens..
and screams..
God, take me please..
But God does not want her..
So in this life she has to hide..
Pretending she is someone..
pretending she is alive..
Knowing her soul has gone..
with the flowing of the tides..
the flood she alone created ...
that has spilled from her eyes..
Like a waterfall of emotion..
flowing to the sea..
never really knowing..
where she is meant to be..