I had me, as my guest yesterday
and together, we festooned
our heart with the lamp of
those silken memories and
the stars of the days yet to be;
embracing each other firmly
on the balcony of our reverie.
Yes, pleased, I am now. It’s
been a long time since we
sat together, my soul and me.

I told my soul, “ I don’t want
to live in Nepal, with its dark,
sinister corridors and cracked,
bloodstained walls?” I think
my future is futureless here.
“Never mind if there’ll be
no future in Nepal. At least
the present is here. Keep this
in mind and rejoice evermore,”
sang the choir of my soul.

“ Bhuwan, I have something
to ask you,” it said.
“Tell me the truth.
I have a right to know.
Why are you willing to leave
your old mother and go?”
I heaved a deep sigh.
I made no answer.
I just stood there
dazed and confused.

“I want to live,” the way they live
in the sanctuary of love, faraway
from the, “ hypnosis of fear,”
I finally replied back.
I don’t feel merry in this land
of hysteria, with everything running
and moving, without any direction
and everyone apprehending
a colossal cataclysm
in the human existence.

Death is long here,
and life is short.
I want to introduce
myself to me
and gain the
attributes of my life
before I die.

"What else will there be
for you to gain after losing
your mother?” It whispered
and hearing these words,
I woke up from the slumber
of my unconsciousness and
dipped myself in the holy
water of the self-awareness.

As the tears of happiness
dripped from my mother’s eyes,
I understood the meaning of life.
Her lips trembled
as I ran towards her
and hid my face on her lap.
“Don’t go my son.” She said,
“You can do better here
than you think you can do there.”
Don’t run after the clouds
bring out the "Sun”!

My eyes are now open.
And I am glad to know that
at the end of the day,
drops of the native, “Whey,”
tastes sweeter than the
bottle of the foreign, “Wine.”

What more do I want
than the smile
on my mothers face.
What more do I want
than the stars of sovereignty
in her eyes.
I apologize to both
my mother and my soul.


Copyright 2005 Bhuwan Thapaliya