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FARTING Is Such Sweet, Sweet SORROW
Copyright: 10/13/07 - Tom Hyland
INTRODUCTION…
Many years ago, I read a poem, which I liked.
It was short and sweet, direct, to the point, and proclaimed Veracity.
It could have been either by Anonymous, or Eponymous?
Hope you ENJOY!
“There is the love of a Father,
And the love of a Mother,
The love of a Sister,
And the love of a Brother;
But the love that is Purest and Sweetest is,
That of one dead DRUNK to ANOTHER!”
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BODY…
Farting is Such Sweet Sweet Sorrow,
Maybe you will return on the Morrow?
The gas it just Started,
Then my cheeks just Parted,
I couldn’t help it Dear,
Sorry I Farted!
There’s the FART in the Elevator,
So lively and Quick,
Everyone LEERS at you,
And thinks you’re a DICK!
The FART in the Spaceship
Is really, really a Mess,
Cause everyone wants to Kill you,
When you Confess!
The FART on the Beach
Gets everyone Excited,
But don’t light a Match,
Or I’ll get Ignited!
How about when in Line,
At the Cashier’s, at Dart, or some other Mart,
Bing - Bam - Thank You Ma’am,
Out POPS a Horrendous Loud FART?
Why oh why, Dear, do you keep us Apart?
You know I can’t help Myself,
I gave you my Heart,
I’m really not nasty - like Simpson, the Bart!
Ever followed a Horse,
Riding in the Cart,
When he Dropped a Pile,
Quite more than a Fart?
Malodorous, Stinky, Nostrils Impugned,
Worse when it’s Hot,
In the Merry Month of June!
But, when we make Love,
By the Light of the Moon,
Not Nice --- when my Anus does Croon!
Oh, Roses may be Red,
And Violets may be Blue,
But your love takes a Sabbatical,
When I FART near You!
It is only Natural,
For us to Pass Gasses,
A Gastro-Intestinal Malfunction,
Truly Employed by the Masses!
A FART in Church,
Sitting in a Pew,
Makes People Move,
NOT Closer to You!
It only Hurts for a little while,
That’s what people Say.
And when it does Linger,
I’ll use some Spray!
PHEW! PEW! POOH! WHEW!
Darlin’ - What can I Do?
Farting is Such Sweet, Sweet Sorrow,
Will you forgive me… perhaps Tomorrow?
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CONCLUSION…
It is said that Religion and Politics
Should not be Discussed in Mixed Company… Right?
Nobody said… FARTIN’S TABOO,
OOPS! ‘Scuse me, while I run to the LOO!
Well Now… if THAT’S how you Feel,
Don’t SUGARCOAT IT…
I ate too much, and now I’m Bloated,
The Churnings begun, Relief is in Sight,
The Show Must Go On… No Problemo… No Sweat,
OOPS! Gotta Run… this one feels WET!
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In closing, let me say THIS, about THAT…
The lyrics to a Sweet Melancholy Song MY Dad used to sing
Now come to mind:
“Smile the while,
You kiss me sad Adieu,
When the clouds roll by,
I’ll come to you.
So wait, and Pray…
Each night for me,
Until we meet
Again….”
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ASK NOT WHAT YOUR FARTS CAN DO FOR YOU!
RATHER,
ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR FARTS!
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OUCH! WASN’T THAT JUST AWLFUL OFFAL?
JOY - PEACE - ABUNDANCE - LOVE
TomKat … As in MEOW?
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(((HUGS))) and much love, your Tx. friend, Karen Lynn. :D *gasping with laughter*
(((HUGS))) and lov,e Kalar.