Part IV

In the ‘Harrowing Haircut’ Episodes

“OK, now go shock them ED...

Go and buy a wig...

And scare the begooks out of them...”

                      AD Author Floria Kelderhouse

I was feeling quite depressed,

And I knew that I was still bald.

The miserably failed Buddha episode,

Had not left me too enthralled.

My pets had all gathered round,

To comfort and console me, I guess.

They truly are wonderful pals,

Whenever I’m really stressed.

That’s when I read Floria’s comment above,

And my heart suddenly skipped a beat.

I suddenly knew exactly what to do,

And I would not have to face defeat.

As my pets eagerly watched,

I pillaged through Rebecca’s things.

And before very long at all,

My new plan had sprouted wings.

I cut and pasted this and that,

And I glued here and there,

And soon - Presto! Voila!

I had become Fred Astaire.

In the mirror I admired my new wig,

And my saucy pencil-thin mustache.

They were Dashing and Continental,

With just the right touch of Flash.

And I couldn’t help but think

That my wig was much better than Trump’s.

On that goofy Apprentice Show,

It was his stylist he should have dumped.

Suddenly, I was totally inspired,

And I crafted more coiffures with glue.

And once again - Presto! Voila!

Most of my pets had wigs, too.

The dogs were ecstatic,

The cats were subdued;

But they all went along with me,

And helped chase away my blues.

Turbo looked really hip-hop,

In his bold, braided spikes.

Blanca’s Barbie Doll Hairdo,

Filled her tiny soul with delight.

Monty looked quite awesome

In his colorful braided dreadlocks.

Jessie looked hauntingly debonair

In her long, silky, purple locks.

I’m afraid that dear old Buddy

Isn’t too thrilled with his wild ‘do,’

But he’s definitely a real trooper,

And I know he’ll see this through.

Now I’ve invited my mother over

For coffee and cake at Three.

I cannot wait for her reaction,

I’m sure her rosary, I will see.

She will probably recite a Special Novena,

Designed to chase the demons from my head.

She will probably pray to 27 different saints,

And none of them named ‘Ed.’

I also can’t wait until Rebecca arrives

About 8 or 9 o’clock tonight.

Her reaction should be spectacular,

And quite an awesome sight.

I’m predicting right here and now,

That there will be a victorious end.

I’m willing to bet big money,

That neither she nor dear old Mom,

Will ever, ever, dare to -

Bug me about a haircut again.

To Be Continued??