For AD Member Kate Burnside’s

Iceberg Poem Collection

 “You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it,
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,
Now, you’re paralyzed.”

Rod Temperton,

Thriller

Icebergs are truly dynamic

Icebergs are extremely cool

But the idiot posing for this pic

Has got to be one chilly ass fool

Since he was a charter member

Of the Polar Bear Club in Illinois

He decided a picture with an iceberg

Would surely bring him great joy

As his wife sped on ahead

He brought out his inner tube

And he quickly got into the water

Before his feet turned ice blue

Unfortunately he was chilling fast

And his body was getting numb

Sometimes he truly couldn’t believe

Just how whacky he was - and dumb

I guess he thought this picture

Would fill his heart with glee

But his body became so chilled

Only frosty icicles could he pee

And some of you probably think

That he was completely naked I’d suspect

But he really did keep his boxer shorts on

Out of a genuine aquatic creature respect

He really didn’t want to gross out

Any seals swimming by underneath

And he surely didn’t want his blubber

To attract any sharp killer whale teeth

But soon after he took this very chilling shot

A magnificent Humpback whale swam by

He frigidly and clumsily missed that shot

And now big iceberg teardrops did he cry

His wife’s in the picture background

All bundled up warmly in that warm kayak

When she saw the ice forming on his body

She hit him with her paddle – C-R-A-C-K

As he wrapped himself up very tight

In a huge warm ship’s sauna towel

He raised his icy blue lips to the heavens

And like the chilly arctic wolf - he howled

It took him three days and nights

On their Alaskan vacation cruise

To finally warm up enough again

To enjoy more of his ice-cold brew

The majesty of Alaska is truly breathtaking

And to journey back up there he can’t wait

But I’d bet the next time he keeps his clothes on

So he’ll be able to enjoy a far less chilling fate

©2005, Eddie ‘The Iceberg’ Kostro