"Thou art the Great Cat, the Avenger of the Gods,

The Judge of Words, the President of the Sovereign Chiefs,

 And the Governor of the Holy Circle;

Thou art indeed...the Great Cat.”

 Inscription on the Royal Tombs at Thebes

My spouse seems to think I’ve gone too far

With my new top secret feline food formula

But I think the results have been phenomenal

And their growth rate has filled me with awe

These new large cats of mine are superb

In keeping all the nosy neighbors away

They’re also excellent new security enhancements

They scared off a pesky salesman just the other day

But there is one rather detrimental side effect

That I had not considered in this new experiment

They now seem to be intimidating my two dogs

Who are now cowering somewhere in the basement

I guess that I still have lots of work left to do

I better hurry and develop my new canine food too

As soon as I can perfect the new Dog Growth Formula

I know that my two mutts will be in a much better mood

I plan to make a fortune with these new pet products

And if anyone needs a Watch Cat just let me know

I’m just about ready now to begin mass producing

My new line of cat food called Ed’s Kitty Grow

Hefty Kitties Can Be Used for Weight Lifting

In a Home Physical Fitness Regiment Too

But I must add this one simple note of caution

Use extra large litter boxes for their gigantic poo

©2005, Ed ‘Big is Better’ Kostro