These are the Voyages

Of the Good Ship Kookie Kutter

My Mission:

To Boldy Sail

Anyone – Anywhere

If The Price is Right

And The Winds are Fair

Captain Cookie Sprinkles

Captain’s Log – Exact Date and Time Unknown

I think it’s been about 80 days

Since we’ve been marooned here

The Queen says it’s about 80 years

But I have no way of knowing for sure

We followed a path through the jungle

And found huge pots of cookie sprinkles

Soon all of us started snorting them like mad

Computer - please pause this log - I have to tinkle

Aah, That’s Much Better – Computer Please Resume

The Queen says that her me and Dave Sometimesisquat

Have all been having lots and lots of little cookie kids

I’ve been so darn hungry I know I’ve been seeing cookies

But I have no way of knowing which of us has flipped our lid

Noble Sir Bergman Chiselpecks

Has been absolutely no help to me

All he does is chase that Frumpalina

All around this cursed island with glee

And that tabloid reporter, Mighty Read

All she does is interrogate poor old Dave

That poor demented soul is truly bonkers

He’s still ‘out there’ on that bizarre Alien rave

Lizard Lin’s been lost in her own thoughts

Thinking of her beloved homeland I’d guess

The only one I can still count on around here

Is my trusty First Mate Rufuz – he’s still the best

Unbeknownst to the rest of these ship’s passengers

Rufuz has been rationing me one dog biscuit a day

Thank God he had plenty stashed under his bunk

I’ve been able to fend complete starvation away

We’ve been unable to find any food at all

On this god-forsaken uncharted island

But fortune may have finally smiled on us

A storm just washed some boxes up on land

But as I slowly hobble down to the sandy beach

In a hunger filled, hopeful, most ravenous daze

I soon spot Good Queen A Pax standing there

When she sees me, she screeches, “Get Away!”

“These boxes of cookies that just washed up,

According to royal maritime law, are all mine;

And I just have to tell you, Captain Sprinkles,

These chocolate chip are so preciously divine!”

“But.. But, I thought, Good Queen A Pax,

That you were opposed to eating them;

And if you won’t share them with us,

It could very well be our bloody end.”

“Oh, all right, you big cry baby,

If you don’t tell any of the others,

I’ll let you have just two of these,

One Pecan, and One Peanut Butter.”

I now pray a kind soul soon finds this Captain’s log

For rescue I’d pay a king’s ransom in gold doubloons

For now I fear that this half human-half ogre queen

May be the most unstable of all we starving looney toons

These are the Voyages

Of the Good Ship Kookie Kutter,

Captain Sprinkles Signing Off,

Gotta eat this yummy Peanut Butter.

This Cookie – GOOD!

“GRRRRR…”

Oh, all right, First Mate Rufuz,

You can have this pecan cookie,

If you run this Message in a Bottle

Down to the beach and toss it in for me.

“GRRRRR…”

Oh, all right; I guess I’ll do it myself…

©2006, Ogre Ed

According to this morning’s Cookieville Times

The Queen and her entourage have only been missing

About Two Weeks

God Save the Queen

And the Rest of These Poor Demented Souls

On That Hellish, Very Mysterious, Island of the Lost

Could They Possibly be Trapped

In Some Sort of  Cosmic Time Warp?!

Or Is It Simply,

Those Evil Ju Ju Voodoo Cookie Sprinkles

They’ve All Been Snorting?!

And Captain Sprinkles Couldn’t Have a Computer

Because They Haven’t Even Been Invented Yet

Or Have They?!

Hmmm…

Please Watch For the Possible Continuation

Of This Wacky and Bizarre Cookie-Ogre War

With Possibly Even More Wacky New Characters

 Possibly Coming Your Way – Perhaps Next Season

On a Poetry Page  - - - - - - - - ‘Somewhere Out There’

PS: Queenie, Go Ahead,

Take A Big Bite of That Chocolate Chip,

You Know You Want To!

No One Will Even Know…

Until Perhaps… Next Season

(I Hope You Found Some Milk, Too)