Please Note:

This is Strictly an Historical Piece

The Queen A Pax-Ogre Cookie War

Is Now on Summer Hiatus

“Hail to the Great One,

Who Brought All of Us Such Cookie Bliss;

Hail to Our Ancient Leader – The Noble One,

The Very First Cookie Ogre – Him We Shall Miss”

From an Ancient Cookie Ogre’s Chant

In 510 B.C starving soldiers

Of the Persian Emperor Darius

Were near the very ancient river Indus

When they found sustenance most curious

Here they discovered very strange reeds

Which produced ‘honey without any bees’

But it was left to ‘The Great One’ himself

To realize the significance of these sugar reeds

In the year 327 B.C., King Alexander the Great himself

Sagely brought these tasty sugar reeds back to the Mediterranean

Where he instructed his many bakers to start baking sugar cookies

Which truly explains the still joyous euphoria we Cookie Ogres are in

Hail to the Great One for His Great Gift of Delicious Cookies

Every Single Cookie Ogre since his time - in Each and Every Land

Still Bows in Homage to ‘The Great One’ Who Had a Very Great Vision

We Will Never Ever Forget Him – Our Hero – This Very Great Cookie Man

Historical Footnotes:

Alexander the Great was called Tre-Qarnayia (The Two Horned One) in Aramaic, due to an image on coins minted during his rule that depicted him with what many believe are the two ram’s horns of the Egyptian god, Ammon.  (Ogres believe that they were really ogre’s horns.)

He also encouraged marriage between his army and foreigners (including ogres), and practiced it himself.

Alexander the Great lives on in the history and myths of both ancient Greece, and in non-Greek cultures (including the ancient ogre culture).  And his many exploits have inspired many through the ages (especially cookie ogres).

I believe writers should always delve into the historical backgrounds of any characters they create, and my spouse used to encourage me to do so.

But alas, she came home several nights ago to find an authentically darkened house representing an old ogre’s cave in which my dogs and I were truly enjoying several packages of freshly scavenged cookies we had ravenously begun devouring on the living room floor.  I thought I looked very authentic in my ogre’s loin cloth, too.

Unbelievably, my wife stormed out the house, and she says she won’t return until I move on to my next character.

I guess I’ll never figure out women – of any kind – evil cookie queens, ogre spouses, or my nasty next door neighbor.  She doesn’t like my ogre’s loin cloth either; she’s never liked my hellish hounds.

Writing is a tough racket, but I do love it so.

“Hey, Drooler, round up the rest of the hellish hounds; we’re going out cookie hunting one last glorious time!  The Great Cookie Man would expect as much from us.”

And if you missed the Queen A Pax-Ogre Cookie War Season One Cliffhanger, it’s called:  Captain Cookie Sprinkle’s Log.

©2006, Regretfully Soon To Become Someone Other than Ogre Ed 

       (For the Summer Anyway)