Labor Day had sadly dawned

Very rainy and a little too cool

But I was determined not to let that

Spoil our Labor Day backyard BBQ

But just about when the food was ready

When I could finally smell that fine BBQ

I never realized that in a few short seconds

I’d be getting those dreaded Corn Cob Blues

These days lurking about our home

Are two extremely skilled food banditos

And now that these two have teamed up

They’re almost an unstoppable thief duo

Fat Louie our once feral kitty cat

Has an appetite that just does not rest

And lately he’s been hanging out with Junior

One of my Katrina rascals who is simply the best

Ever since I brought these two wily bandits home

I’ve constantly warned my spouse to guard our food

Over the last few months they’ve pilfered many a meal

Which usually puts my wife in a real foul and nasty mood

At yesterday’s Labor Day barbeque

While I was relaxing in our backyard pool

My wife stepped into the house for a second

And suddenly we both were awfully big fools

Fat Louie raced over to the dinner table

And ran off with an entire stick of butter

While Junior inhaled an entire cob of corn

Swallowing it whole while eyeing another

I dove out of the pool managing to stop him

But the terrible damage had already been done

As we drove him over to the emergency animal clinic

I realized this particular holiday hadn’t been much fun

They had to pump out Junior’s bloated stomach

That unchewed corn cob could have done him in

And my wife thought that the $200 veterinarian bill

Was highway robbery and quite a huge Labor Day sin

On the silent drive home I was already feeling better

But my perturbed wife was still in a very nasty mood

And it didn’t help matters much when we soon realized

While we were gone the rest of our pets ate all of our food

“Hey, Sweetie, Look!

They missed a piece of bread!”

“Well, I hope you enjoy it, Dear,

You can sleep out here with Them.”

“Well, fine, then.  I will.

I’ve slept out here before.”

But she never even heard me;

She’d already locked the door.

Luckily, a piece of soggy bread

Can make a very fine meal

In a real emergency

(I learned that on a Cub Scout camping trip)

But it looked like another long wet night for me

Labor Day had sadly dawned

Very rainy and a little too cool

But I was determined not to let that

Spoil our Labor Day backyard BBQ

But just about when the food was ready

When I could finally smell that fine BBQ

I never realized that in a few short seconds

I’d be getting those dreaded Corn Cob Blues

©2006, Soggy Bread Ed