Two of Our Pets – Junior the Dog and Natasha the Cat

Seem to be Squabbling Quite a Bit These Days

So I’ve Convinced Them To Air Out Their Feelings

In Sort of a Healing Holiday Mr. Grinch Type of Way

I Doubt It Will Ever Make Them the Best of Friends,

But Natasha Loves Purring this Song Without End

¶

You're a mean one, Mr. Junior,

You really are a big furry heel,

You're as cuddly as a spiny cactus,

And you're about as charming as an eel,

You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

I Am?

You're a monster, Mr. Junior,

Your heart's an empty hole,

Your brain is full of spiders,

You have kitty litter in your soul,

And I wouldn't touch you with a

Thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You Wouldn’t?

You're a foul one, Mr. Junior,

You have termites in your smile,

You have all the tender sweetness

Of a big fat seasick crocodile,

And,

Given a choice between the two of you,

I'd take the seasick crocodile!

“You’re kidding me, right?!”

You're a rotter, Mr. Junior,

You're the king of sinful sots,

Your heart's a big dead tomato,

Splotched with moldy purple spots!

Wow!

You're a big three decker sauerkraut and

Toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!

You nauseate me, Mr. Junior,

With a nauseous super "Naus"!

“Now you’re really makin me hungry!”

You're a crooked dirty uncivilized flea bitten canine,

Your soul is an appalling huge dung heap about to rot,

And it’s overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment

Of rubbish imaginable, mangled all up in tangled up knots!

I do have a little tummy ache today…

You're a foul one, Mr. Junior,

You're a nasty wasty skunk,

Your heart is full of unwashed socks,

And your soul is filled with gunk,

The three words that best describe you

Are as follows,

And I quote, "Stink, Stank, Stunk"!

Is that the end of the song?

I sure hope so,

Since I really am famished again.

Is there any more cat food in your bowl, Natasha?!

NO!

And You Better Not Steal My Christmas Stocking Again!

The Holidays Have Truly Arrived

Here at the Pink Flamingo Sanctuary

The Time to Truly Count Our Blessings

Sing Christmas Songs and Be Very Merry

And Coming Soon:

Fat Louie’s Rendition of Have a Holly Jolly Christmas!