My baby came home last night,
And she looked at me real real cool,
She said, "Albert, you ain't nothin' but an overgrown fool,
I'm gonna leave you, I’m gonna leave you behind.”
So I said, "Baby, I'm gonna tell you, a good fool is hard to find.”

Albert Collins,

A Good Fool is Hard to Find

We had planned to stay home this New Year’s Eve,

But my wife said, “Honey, take me dancing, please!”

So I soon threw on my old suit and my dancing shoes,

And I took her to a tiny club, where they sing the blues.

And we were really having a pretty darn good time,

Dancing and drinking, when new Midnight did chime.

I was now feeling mellow, and I kissed her real hard,

“Happy New Year, Honey, from your Old Sweetheart!”

“Well, Happy New Year to you, too, you inebriated old man,

Now I think heading back home, should be our New Year plan.”

So I rushed off to the men’s room, I really had to pee,

And what should I find there, on the floor next to me?

It was a tiny forlorn kitten, very hungry, and so very all alone,

So I quickly stuck him under my coat, for the long drive home.

And when we finally got home, my wife rushed up to bed,

But I stayed up, washing and feeding my little friend instead.

After these chores were done, we both now headed up to sleep,

Where I watched as he quickly snuggled up, on my wife’s feet.

Then he began creeping, right up under her pajama drawers,

And now I began laughing so hard, that I cried while I roared.

She immediately jumped up, and she shook him from her pants,

And I have to admit, that this was one very sexy, very exotic dance.

“Uh, Sweetie, this is Barfly, and it looks like he’s a real ladies man!”

“Then out of this room, for all of you, is my new New Year’s plan!”

So the four mutts , myself, and our devilish new little Barfly,

Were again relegated to the outhouse, with a nasty ‘Good-bye!’

Where for the next several hours, Barfly kept smiling devilishly,

As me and the four mutts kept howling, at his escapade with glee.

So we’ve got a new family member,

And I’ve officially named him Barfly;

I figure if me and all the critters behave,

She’ll let us back in the bedroom, by July

My baby came home last night,
And she looked at me real real cool,
She said, "Edward, you ain't nothin' but an overgrown fool,
I'm gonna leave you, I’m gonna leave you behind.”

So I said, "Baby, I'm gonna tell you,

A good fool is very hard to find!”

©2007, Once Again in the Outhouse, But Still Laughin, Mr. Ed