I’ve Owed Him Number Six,

For Quite Some Time Now,

And I Have Lots More To Write

For Mom’s Birthday Present Book,

That I’ve Very Lovingly Entitled,

“Two Eds Are Not Better Than One”

“I wish I was as rich,

As my Brother, Mr. Ed,

Than I wouldn’t have to work,

Ever Again.”

AD Member

Ed Matlack

I’ll never forget that horrific day

I think it was the summer of ‘84

I was flat broke and bummed out

Like I had never ever been before

I found myself hitchhikin through New Jersey

I thought my Big Brother Ed might help me out

As I trudged into his trailer park, so very dog tired

I happily saw that he was havin a real tasty cook out

I guess I should explain to those not in our family

That we Brothers Ed have the ability to Shape Shift

It seems that it’s been this way since we were born

And it very often comes in handy, it’s a real nifty gift

So before I arrived at Big Brother Ed’s place

I had decided to Shape Shift into a tiny canine

I knew my Brother Ed had a soft spot for pooches

So I thought my little disguise was really mighty fine

“Hey, Buddy, can you spare some?” I hungrily barked out,

But Big Brother Ed gave me that real evil Jersey Devil look

Then he very meanly yelled, “Get Lost, You Little Pee Wee!”

When he screamed this out, the entire trailer park really shook

So I high-tailed it out of that neck of the woods

Figurin he might shape shift into that Devil from N.J.

But as I’m sittin here now, rememberin what happened

I bet that rascal brother of mine recognized me that day

He always loved callin me Little Pee Wee,

When we were growin up there together,

And he always liked stealin my food too,

In all four seasons, in all types of weather

Would I Lie To You, Mom??

And Just Take a Look

At Those Expensive Clothes

He’s Wearin in That Picture.

Me? I’m Flat Broke, Starvin,

And Naked as a Jay Bird.

Hey! Wait a Minute! Come to Think of It,

That’s My Sweater He’s Wearin There.

Mom, Didn’t You Give That Sweater to Me?!

That Old Jersey Devil Brother of Mine,

He Didn’t Even Offer His Other Brother Ed,

A Sip of His Mighty Fine, Mad Dog 20/20 Wine

☺2007, Mr. (Pee Wee) Ed

(Mom’s Really Gonna Love This One!)