A Continuation Of:
‘There Can Be Only One’
And Contrary to the Jersey Devil’s
Latest Mean Poem – ‘Pee Wee’s Ark,’
I am Not Naked;
I’m Wearing a Rather Stylish Bath Robe,
From One of the Fine Helmsley Hotels.
“Play Nice Now, Boys,
Or This Will Be,
Le Guerre!”
AD Member Edvard (Georg) Mateos
As the old Jersey Devil and I raced for that tiny island
We soon saw an old sailing ship emerging from the fog
Such a very eerie and haunting presence, we stared again
Then eventually I shouted out, “Edvard, You Old Sea Dog!”
“Yes, my Little Pee Wee Brother Ed, it is I,
The oldest and the very wisest Brother Ed;
I see the Jersey Devil is up to his old tricks,
And you, Pee Wee, shouldn’t you be in bed?!”
“HO, HO, HO, you tell him, old Edvardo Bro,
This Little Pee Wee’s been a Pain in my Rear,
But I’ll tell you now, what I’ve been a tellin him,
This island’s Mine, so don’t you even come Near!”
“Ah! Is that so, my Devilish Jersey Brother Ed?
Well, I’ve been looking for this refuge forever;
So just turn your little toy pirate ship around,
You will never have this tiny island - NEVER!
While you have been plundering, as usual,
And Pee Wee here, plays with all his pets,
I’ve been saving many Damsels in Distress,
And these grateful ladies are all soaking wet!”
So this last tiny island of refuge and sanctuary,
Will soon become ‘Edvard’s Fair Maiden’s Spa,’
So I suggest both of you Edwards run along now,
Or there will be a Very Hellish War – N’est Pas?”
Alas, the die has been cast, centuries in the making,
And I very sadly knew this day was coming, after all;
Will this oasis in the middle of these expanding seas,
Be a Spa, a Zoo, or Big Ed’s Casino and Bingo Hall?
Here we are, all three born to be Eds,
Yet brothers, in this, our darkest hour;
Here we now belong, battling each other,
With our strange, mystifying, ‘Ed’ powers.
And Our Fourth Brother Ed,
Is Still Lurking Out Here,
Somewhere
- Please Stay Tuned -
And, If You, Yourself,
Believe That You May Be
One of the Immortal Eds,
And Actually Listed,
In The Ancient Book of Ed,
Please Send Your Inquiry
To:
The Ruff N’ Ready Rufuz Detective Agency,
Atlantic City, New Jersey.
Rufuz Has Been The Keeper
Of This Ancient Book
For Many Years Now.
But There Will, Of Course, Be,
A Very Hefty, Processing Fee.
(Rufuz Ain’t No Dumb Dog)
☺2007, Mr. Pee Wee Ed
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Blessings,
Joyce B.
As I have been blessed to be deported as a mere tyke, banished to the shores of YE OLDE BALTIMORE, MERLYN - I am not privy to the ages of my younger sibling WHIPPSNAPPERS -
how-some-ever and heretofore, 'twas borned 8/25/40 and thusly now at 67, claim to be ED THE ELDEST!
While it may seem at first to be an astonishing turn of events, and the divulgence of my SECRET may cause me no small, but undue ridicule, especially from those younger whippersnappers aforementioned, the truth of my claim shall forthwith be made self evident.
TO WIT: The island, or more properly, the ISLE of SEA CITY, shall NOT be in any way divided, or sub-divided; RATHER, as an ESTATE to be EQUALLY SHARED, and ENJOYED by all family heirs - US FOUR EDS - and their heirs and assigns, in perpetuity, ad infinitum, and ad nauseum -
WHEREAS...
1. PETS and other Critters of all kinds shall be welcome, with only one PROVISO - their owners WILL 'CURB' them, and 'BAG' their excrements, both Great and Small!
2. WOMEN - ALL WOMEN, OF ALL SHAPES, SIZES, ETHNICITIES, COLORS, AND ESPECIALLY THOSE BLESSED WITH GARGANTUAN 'HOOTERS' MAY EJOY SPAS ANYWHERE ON THIS ISLE THAT THEY MAY CHOOSE! In fact, the latter group are highly encouraged to partake of our NEWLY CREATED "AU NATUREL" BEACHES!
3. GAMBLING - especially BINGO and CASINOS, will be constructed both the Length and Breadth of said ISLE ... for ALL to share equally in the PROFITS thereof!
4. MY CLAIM TO FAME - and the TRUTH thereof... altho' not technically 'christened' ED... I AM HOWEVER TEMPORARILY SUFFERING FROM THE DREADED AFFLICTION... ED.. E.D. ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION! However, to avoid the STIGMA associated with said minor situation, my preferred chosen name is LD... LIMP DICK!
ANY AND ALL WHO READS THESE SECRET WORDS AND LAUGHS... SHALL BE PUNISHED BY 'WALKING THE PLANK' ... and then getting SPANKED... 40 lashes with a WET MACKERAL!
Assuming these presents to be amicable to all EDS concerned, go get your INKY QUILL, CO-SIGN hereunder, seal with a KISS... and stop all this unnecessary TOMFOOLERY, FORSOOTHE AND POSTHASTE !!!
LD...THE ELDEST... in ABSENTIA... NEGOTIATOR EXTRAORDINAIRE !
The fourth as you might say
I've been plunderin' the booty
'till ya called me away
A burly lot an' honry too
the Cap'n Ed's
and their lively crew
I'll steer me
toward the rendezvous
where wenches, rum, and treasure
shall be divied in good measure
Cap'n Eddy
As the french say, He who does not fight but runs away, lives to hide another day...
Of Company of Eds very exciting piece
I can't wait to see which of the three Eds
Will win!!LOL I do Agreed with Capt La Belle Rouge
The Animals need that island!
Until the next chapter!
Enjoyed reading This poetic Form story very much!!
Love Peace and Hugssss And Good luck!....Morning Star
Be safe,
Karen
(((HUGS))))a nd love, Karla.
"ol' Captain Bloodeye" (from The Last Renaissance Man)
PS: "Aye, lad! Broadside 'em now boys!"
Love and Huggs!
Ann
Newfie Hugs, Rose
This poem got me laughing I hope a retributory in kind.
Ed the Elder
What about Madagascar?
Walt