“Yoo Hoo, All You Ancient Eds!

I’m here to claim Ancient Ed Island

For the Venerable Order of Ednadites!

‘X’ Marks The Spot on Our Old Map,

So You Know, It’s Our Divine Right!”

Sister Edna Eileen,

The Ancient Order of Ednadites

Well, the long Labor Day Weekend was over,

The day sailors and party boats had sailed away,

Even the hot dog vendor ships had disappeared,

Ravenous Jersey Devil Ed was filled with dismay.

What the hell am I gonna eat now? Jersey wondered,

As he stumbled up on deck and now peered to his right;

“It sure looks different around here this September morn,

And I swear that island wasn’t even out there last night!”

“Blimey, how unEDucated are you?” cried the Commodore,

“Of course it was, I watched it all night on my sonar screen;

But just have a look at that curious old sail coming into view,

That has to be one of the very loveliest sights I have ever seen!”

“Yoo Hoo!  All you Ancient Eds!” they soon heard a woman shout,

As her odd ship with the St. Edna sail quickly came right into view,

“According to The Ancient Book of Ed, I claim this Isle for my Order,

So you other Eds can just go home now.  Go! Scat! And, Tootaloo!”

“Say What?!” quickly shouted that rascally old Jersey Devil Ed,

“You can’t be serious, Woman!” screamed the very irate Viking,

“Blimey, Again!” shouted Commodore Eddy, sipping his Earl Grey,

And I, Pee Wee Noah Ed, was again speechless, unable to say a thing.

“Just what we need, one of them religious fanatics!” shouted Jersey,

“Hey, Lady!  I hope you at least heard of old Billionaire Donald Trump;

Me and him already made a several million dollar deal for my Bingo Hall,

You think any of us Ancient Eds here are gonna give it away like Chumps?”

“You Devil of a Man!  How dare you speak to me like that!” yelled Edna,

I bet you’re the one who’s in Cahoots with my devilish Twin, Tiger Lily;

If you don’t lift anchor, and sail away from our new Nunnery instantly,

The fierce Mercenary Force we hired will arrive, and Then, Ye Shall See!”

“Bring ‘em on, Woman!  I need some Worthy Opponents!” yelled the Viking,

“Put on yer fake Nun outfit so I know you’re Tiger Lily’s Twin!” said Devil Ed,

Now both The Brit Commodore, and I, Pee Wee Ed , surmised one more delay,

So as I went about feeding my animals, old Commodore Eddy went back to bed.

- Please Stay Tuned -

Scuttlebutt Still Has It,

That a few more ‘Eds,’

Will Be Arriving Soon.

And it appears we now have twin sister ‘Eds’ on our hands,

One obviously So Very Good, and one obviously So Very Bad;

And now, I hope you all finally believe me about The Evil Tiger Lily,

The arrival of Sister Edna, truly makes Pee Wee Noah Ed, Very Glad.

☺2007, Ruff N’ Ready Rufuz, Inc.

Please Address All Hate Mails

Concerning This Chapter to:

The Ruff N’ Ready Complaint Dept.,

C/O Ed Forrest Gump,

Atlantic City, N.J.

“My Momma always said,

Life was like a box a chocolates.

You never know,

What yer gonna get!”