“Learn Now,

Of The Treachery,

Amongst The Ancient Eds.”

Ed Virgil

Ancient Poet and Philosopher

“Gosh Darn It, and Gee Whiz, Tiger Lily,

Why’d you make me take a bath tonight?

I left my best Rubber Duckies on board,

And, ya know, this just doesn’t feel right.

But I’ve been readin a real good book,

It’s by another pirate named Salty Walt;

Hey! Could ya look around a little for me,

And see if Ed Island has any Epsom Salts?”

“Will You Keep Your Voice Down, Please!

Who knows where those other Eds are?

And you haven’t taken a bath in weeks,

So scrub really hard, with that Ivory bar.”

“Oh, All Right! But what about Edna?

That real Nun is gonna ruin your plan;

And for old time’s sake, dear Tiger Lily,

Can ya tell me again, I’m Yer Best Man!”

“Will you just shut up already, Jersey Devil,

I have to go put on my clever Nun disguise;

And don’t you worry yourself about old Edna,

My meddling Twin will get Quite the Surprise!”

“Good!  And can I have a few more quarters?

“I’m hungry, and I gotta get somethin to eat.”

“Just finish your bath, You Best Man Ed, You,

And don’t forget those god-awful, devilish, feet.”

“Yes, Tiger Lily…”

All the Ancient Eds Assembled,

Will Now Be Quite Overjoyed,

Bath Time Was Long Overdue,

For This Old Matlack Pirate Boy.

And Rufuz just received a message

From The Ednadite Headquarters

In Ednaville.

Apparently, their ancient Ed Isle Maps

Have been purloined by an Impostor!

- Please Stay Tuned –

☺2007, Ruff N’ Ready Rufuz, Inc.