“A house is never still in darkness to those who listen intently;

There is a whispering in distant chambers,

An unearthly hand presses the snib of the window, the latch rises.

Ghosts were created when the first man awoke in the night.”

J.M. Barrie

This is our second Howloween

Here at haunted Thornwood Manor

And we’ve gone all out to celebrate

Even hoisting a huge holiday banner

But we live in a very remote area

Having no living neighbors for miles

So we’d like to invite everyone in AD

To join us out here this month for awhile

The manor mistress bakes pumpkin pies

Our many pets are on their best behavior

And the tour we offer of our haunted home

Is something each visitor can hopefully savor

We start our tour in Thornwood’s basement

A mid 18th century mad scientist’s laboratory

Here you will find dungeons and the guillotine

And a few of the ghastly residents in their glory

Then you will be led up to the stately old parlor

Where you will have tea with old Spinster Maddy

She’s been residing in Thornwood Manor since 1852

Still hopeful that one day she’ll meet her Sugar Daddy

Then our home tour heads into the huge kitchen area

Where our ghastly butler and cook are mad as hatters

Here we’ll provide you with a protective plastic cloak

Since food and drink flies through the air and splatters

And for those on tour who are extremely brave of heart

You can even visit the bedroom of the tiny impish twins

They’ve been pulling gory pranks on each other for eons

Neither of them will give in and neither of them will win

Our tour of old Thornwood Manor then heads to the attic

But we advise caution, and that you move swiftly up here

The ravenous old bats that reside here like to detain visitors

And the bones of some former guests still rattle around I fear

As our fabulous Howloween Manor Tour now winds down

Your queasy tummy will delight in our renovated outhouse

Here you will be greeted by our enormous pet spider, Fang

And pampered by Thornwood Manor’s resident rabid mouse

So please consider visiting here at Thornwood Manor soon

We would be delighted to show you around for Howloween

Our only caution is that you don’t arrive through the woods

Alas, our resident werewolf Archibald is still just a tad mean

©2007, The Proprietor of Thornwood Manor

Be It Ever So Humble and Haunted,

There Truly is No Place Like One’s Home;

And I’m very confident that our Creepy Abode

Will inspire at least one book, and many a poem