This Year’s Howloween Is Only A Few Days Away;

Every Year As It Approaches, I Remember This Day

“Men cannot think like dogs

Because there is a sharp difference

In the mental capacity of humans and canines.

For example, a human who is given a problem

Will spend the entire day , attempting to solve it somehow,

But a canine will have the sense to give up and do something else.”

                                      Corey Ford

Every year, about this time

I remember good old Barney

A dedicated tracker of lost children

He was asked to find my Brother Jersey

But the only thing that our dear old Ma could find

Was a pair of Brother Jersey’s soiled old Jockeys

I remember this Howloween, just like it was yesterday

I can still hear old Barney’s howls of horror in the breeze

They say a dog’s sense of smell is a hundred times better than ours

And I could never stand the smell, in the bedroom we brothers shared

I cannot imagine the hell old Barney was enduring, sniffing Ed’s undies

And he adamantly refused to follow that hellish scent out into the Barrens

Luckily, I knew many of my devilish brother’s hiding places in the Pine Barrens

And I was able to lead the state troopers to a cave that I suspected Jersey was in

Old Barney and I became good friends, that hellish Howloween when I was a boy

And ever since that day, I have been proud to call many a marvelous dog, my friend

And I Truly Hope That Your Howloween,

Won’t Be As Horrifying As Barney’s Was!

©October 2013, The Dog Loving Mr. Ed