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Mr. Ed

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Books
· My Dog Is My Hero

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Mystery of Madera Canyon

· Cemetery Island

· Gold River Canyon

· Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals


Short Stories
· Lullabies and Legends of The Loon

· Build It, And They Will Come

· The Dog On The Run

· The Cat Who Came For Christmas

· The 4th of July Kittens

· The Dog At The Drive-Thru Window

· Home For The Holidays

· Two Bonded Street Orphans, In From The Cold

· A Survivor's Tale

· Pigs, Turtles, and Bugs!


Articles
· In Memory of My Little Flower

· The Joys of Relocating With Lots of Cats and Dogs

· The Month of June is 'Adopt A Cat Month'

· The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly In Today's Pet World

· The Easter Skunk

· February is Spay and Neuter Awareness Month

· Stand Up For Senior Pets

· Hurricane Katrina - My Journey Back In Time

· Very Sadly, Not Much Has Changed In The Last Ten Years

· I Am a Dog, Not a Thing


Poetry
· Yet Another 'Holiday of Terror' for Them

· Wildwood at Sunrise

· Ode To My Cat Woman

· They Always Listen To Their Hearts

· Me and My Shadow(s)

· It's 'Be Kind To Animals Week'

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Robin's Return

· All Kinds Of Dogs

· The Midnight Raid On Donuts

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· Chicken Soup for the Soul: Loving Our Dogs

· The Daily Mews

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Another Review For Curious Creatures-Wondrous Waifs

· Recipient of the 2006 Merial Human-Animal Bond Award

· International Writing Award

· My Animal Book Wins an Award

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He Took A Bath Once

by Mr. Ed — Read all 1,530 poems by Mr. Ed

Wednesday, January 7, 2015


Poem Artwork
-->Music: Splish Splash

By his own admission, he took a bath once
We were kids, and I remember it very well
He screamed and yelled, and had a hissy fit
I’ve always liked baths – to him, they are hell

He has had this strange phobia for fresh water
For over sixty some extremely odd years now
Every Christmas, dear old Ma sends him soap
And it always ends up in the dumpster somehow

I tried to convince him to join us in The Shelter Shiver
Where many of us jumped into the extremely frigid lake
He says he hasn’t been able to sleep, since I invited him
Just the thought of taking another bath, keeps him awake

I’ve asked our Cousin Tom to take him to a Bath House
But not to tell him where they’re going, until they get there
Maybe Tom can give him a few of those funny cigs he likes
After smoking a few, perhaps he won’t be so damned scared

Good Luck, Cuz!

By his own admission, he took a bath once
We were kids, and I remember it very well
He screamed and yelled, and had a hissy fit
I’ve always liked baths – to him, they are hell

©January 2015, His Very Concerned Brother



     


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Reviewed by John Domino
Reviewed on January 7, 2015
Wow! It is amazing how different siblings can be. Complete opposites and like night and day. Many families are like that. My own daughters do not look alike or act alike. It's as if they came from two different planets. Still, I love them both the same. GREAT WRITE Ed!

Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Reviewed on January 7, 2015
For starters, with that mug you got HULL you got a lot of balls sayin' I look like a pet...

And as for that soap on a rope, Mr. Ed, I never put it into a dumpster, I give it to some deserving individual, maybe to wash their own dog with or to wash out the mouth of a certain dog rescuer in the Chicago area...enjoyed this one, but as you have heard many times before, paybacks are a bitch, bro'...-e-

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on January 7, 2015
Be careful, he'd probably come out smelling like a wet dawg!

They say that once we've been living with them a while, we resemble our pets. From your picture above, the transformation is complete. ;-)

Ron

Reviewed by Michael Schafer
Reviewed on January 7, 2015
A little water.
A little soap.
Will Ed take a bath?
We can only hope!

Michael D.

Reviewed on January 7, 2015
PEEWEE ...

NOT UNLIKE THE CRIME INVESTIGATORS ON CSI ..
MAYHAPS I CAN PUT A BIG GLOB OF VICKS VAPOR RUB
ON MY NOSTRILS FOR THAT RIDE TO THE BATHHOUSE?

ABOUT 100 OR SO "HITS" ON KNUMB KNUTZ'S "MARY JANE"
COULD ESTABLISH A STATE OF EUPHORIA IN HIS "PEA BRAIN" ?

THEN, AFTER HE STEAMS IN THE SAUNA FOR AT LEAST A WEEK ...
MAYBE I'LL GO BACK N PICK HIM UP ... MAYBE ???

THEN, A QUICK STOP . MICKEY D'S ... FOR A "HAPPY MEAL" ...
AND A HUMONGOUS "DIET" COKE MIGHT BE MY TREAT FOR "STINKY" ???

NEXT, WE'LL DROP HIM OFF . A "DETOX" CENTER FOR A MONTH OR TEN...
SOME AROMATIC OILS & AROMA THERAPY MIGHT "FUMIGATE" HIM ...

MAYBE ? MAYBE NOT ???

ISN'T BROTHERLY N' CUZZINLY L U V JUST WUNNERFUL ???

PEACE ... LUV ... N' HAPPY NEW YEAR ... TO ..
YEW ... MEAN TALL WOMAN ... N' ALL YER CRAZY CRITTERS !!!


Reviewed on January 7, 2015
Poor Jersey Devil maybe a nice walk in the rain is in order! LOL

Reviewed by Mary Ann Biddinger
Reviewed on January 7, 2015
Mr. Ed
Cute write of your hilarious brother!

Lady Mary Ann


New Poetry by Mr. Ed
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