The First Taste Of True Silence (poem) by J. Allen Wilson on AuthorsDen

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The First Taste Of True Silence

by J. Allen Wilson — Read all 1,629 poems by J. Allen Wilson

After today, I shall try not to approach this subject again….but…One year ago today, I tasted true silence; a silence not of words, but of heart. It was a cold, dark silence that ruptured my very soul. I still with clarity feel that silence; for I see with vision so pure the last time she closed her pretty blue eyes; a vision that seems frozen in the very passages of time itself as she gave up the ghost and died in my arms. I remember that last look; that soft last kiss like it was yesterday, and now, even now one year later, the silence lingers.

One year…”time to move on”…Oh how true , how true , but oh how I despise those words and the lips from which they fall. Often when those words pierce my heart, I wish to offer a rebuttal, but I decline for it is like unto the sowing of precious seed in rocky soil. To each is his own, and move on I will when it is MY time.

Only GOD in heaven knows the impact that this moment in time had on me. Only He knows of my true sorrow…only He and I know about the three months prior to her passing; and only He and I know of the viciousness in which the cancer invaded her body. I sheltered all…both family and friends from the true horror of stage IV pancreatic cancer…the cries into the night, the screams of pain… the ugliness…

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The First Taste Of True Silence

Silent is the moment as my heart heaves its weary sigh.

I collapsed on her breathless body, and I ask God… I ask God WHY?

One year ago today I tasted the true silence when kindred spirits did part.

As her last breath escaped her body, the vacuum of true silence entered my heart.

Thus now, in the silence of my past do I currently dwell.

For by a day at a time, I rebuke, and lock the gates of my living hell.

I will live; I will survive, yet unto this day….

I only wish to honor the love of my life….one more time.

Therefore in this moment of silence…

I give thanks to what once was, and shall be no more…

No more, until we once again meet on the other side on God’s golden shore.

J. Allen Wilson © 12:23AM EST 9/7/2009****9/7/2008

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Reviewed by Cryssa C

Reviewed on September 8, 2009

I must admit that the words "moving on," however calloused they sound, are much better than being told that you should be "over it..." I don't believe anyone truly ever "gets over" or "moves on" from the passing of a loved one. Rather, the loved one will always hold a special piece of the remaining person's heart. I do believe it is possible to move forward, but moving on connotates leaving something behind, and I prefer to think that we can take the memories, both the good and the bad, and move forward a better person because of it.

May you find peace at this difficult time.

Cryssa

Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

Reviewed on September 7, 2009

Anyone who tells you not to write about Leah is stupid, in my opinion. They don't know what you endured when she was so sick, then to see her dying right before your very eyes. How can they be so callous, not knowing the pain you suffered as a result? I am so sorry this happened; know you are ever in my prayers! Please write about Leah and the love you shared; you had a love that death cannot sever. That love still lives on in compelling, heartfelt writing. So to heck with the naysayers and write about Leah all you want; I'll read it and know that you have my support!

You are ever in my prayers, (((Allen)))!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :( >tears! <

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan

Reviewed on September 7, 2009

the words "time to move on" have always sounded so cold and caloused-you have written beautifully here

Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

Reviewed on September 6, 2009

(((Allen))),

No one should EVER tell you not to broach this subject again. You loved Leah; you miss her. If you must write, write. It will help. Will it ease the pain? Probably not, but then again, it might. =] A beautiful testiment to honoring the marriage vows: 'til death us do part. You did that, and more.

((((HUGS)))) love and continued prayer, Karla.

I'm here if you need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to bounce off of ...

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