Burnt Out

With the above said,
I ponder in my mind and wonder within my head if I would be better off dead.

I am so close to retirement.
And I see after all these years there seems no escape.
Financially speaking to quit at this moment would be a grave mistake.

So trapped am I,
In this prison of endless years,
Nothing but blood, sweat and tears.

I long for the day that Jan and I can walk in the freedom,
Taste the taste of life and see new things.

I weep every night beneath the shadows of a darkened moon.
I pray to a silent God and question in what my future shall loom.

I wish to spend all my days, all my hours, all my seconds in Jan’s loving gaze.
Yet I find myself a prisoner to constant work without a break in the day.

Thus I say excuse this rant,
But it is the only way that I can ease my mind away from the turmoil of my plant.
I dream big, I see beyond the moon and stars.
I see Jan and mine future from afar.

My love for her can never be told.
For it is so deep, brazen and bold.
That if given time away from works hold.

We could celebrate and laugh again together beneath the stars.
But yet I wonder, oh how I wonder,
If I can carry it that far.

For I feel the chains that bind me,
I feel the weight that keeps me from my true and only call.
Sometimes I wonder in the end whether my life would matter to anyone in the end.

The body, the mind can only take so much suffering, so much pain.
Yet even still come the end I see no gain.
Therefore I pray to God again this night,
Loosen my load and put things aright.

So on a closing note,
I only have this final quote,
‘Hi Ho, Hi Ho…It’s off to work I go.’

J. Allen Wilson © 8/9/2014