My life, is this the end?
Oh God, how much my life has changed. I used to be strong but now I’m so weak.
I used to think that I was weak but now I see that I’m even weaker than I ever believed.
I have been through so many trials and misfortune, be it fighting cancer or to 3 months of hospitalization on and off as soon as I retired.
I came out of all that and thought that I was near my end, however I have now discovered that it was only the beginning of my end.
I just spent 5 days in the hospital with Covid which will not let go. I’m constantly in pain and cannot find my joy
To make things worse is that my sweet love Jan is very sick as well . That’s what makes this so hard is that I cannot take care of her like she deserves to be taken care of.
She herself has a need of relief. She’s been my strength and my love and when she hurts, I hurt.
I pray that 2024 is not the end of our story and that we can find peace in our lives together once again.
I don’t have any help as everyone has their own life and path that they must walk.
I just want Jan and myself to be free of this pain and suffering. Yet how will it end for us? Will we rise once again to shine and when the time comes, will we go out with a whimper and a cry, or will we pass with a smile and a little laugh into the next life?
Either way, I know that there will be none to mourn, for we are alone in this moment, alone in our pain, alone to die alone, but together.
J. Allen Wilson.
(C)9/24/2024
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Rebecca
This morning I was reading in the first chapter of 2 Corinthians, because our church is now being led through this place in God's Word. The Apostle Paul, like you, shared his suffering with the public, and so what you have done in this poem is just like what the Holy Spirit moved the great Apostle to do, and there is a wisdom and purpose in it, which is to make others aware, so that we can petition the Lord Jesus Christ for your needs, and so that the Lord may be praised and glorified on account of His answer to your need. May the Lord bless you, heal you both according to His will and timing. I am lifting you to Him even now. Please keep us in the loop, and keep looking to Jesus, He is ever faithful. The Lord loves you and so do I.
You are NEVER alone and you are NEVER not thought of and prayed for.
Life and old age happens to ALL of us. YOU are the one who told ME that old age is not for sissies. I remember that every time I suffer beyond words..and it helps.
AS George taught me, We all bear our portion of the Cross throughout our lives.
Our hearts to yours and Jan's; we love you both and are saddened by your conditions.
May the LORD cause you to overcome Covid and every form of illness!
May He bring you relief and turn your tears to joy!
But in the meantime, Bubba...
Strengthen yourself in the Word...Be strong and of good courage.
Father GOD promised us, I will never leave you or forsake you.
You know He won't - He NEVER lies.
Is Rev. Looney still with you?
Tons of love and hugs to all of you.
xo Rhonda & Joe
Also, much love & prayers to LaBelle and Ron.
I used to think that you had it rough when you would still write so romantically while having to work beyond retirement just to make a go of it. And you lost your wife. I'm so glad that you found Jan and that you are together in your suffering. I only hope that you can come out of Covid this time.
Like you, I was utterly alone 30 years ago when I was told that I needed to hire someone to take care of me. Based on how I was going downhill, I thought I would die much younger than normal and suffer greatly from ignorance and lack of help. So, I put an ad in the local Green Sheet and started hiring help even though I was paying with my credit card with no way to pay back the balance. My first two attendants did great work for me but had to leave after three months. It was my 5th hire, Beh, who stayed on and became my partner all these years through trials and tribulations.
I have been hospitalized and near death in 2012, and as well as corrective surgeries and taking the vaccines so that my only bout with Covid was brief and no more than like a flu of a week. Beh's lasted one day because she has been so healthy and so strong even though she has exceeded normal retirement age while still running her shop and taking care of me many more hours a day than ever before.
It's funny how fate goes, but we both are healthier, wealthier and happier than I was back in 1994. Yet, I fear that a sudden downturn in both our health because of aging and we will probably suffer before we go like almost everyone else. The best that could happen would be for me to die in my sleep. My family is still a thousand miles away or more and the few friends I have here in Houston are as bad or worse, healthwise, than me. Age gets us all. There is no let up.
All I can wish for you is that you recover from this latest setback and began to feel better again. Finally, to go like I wish to, as painlessly as possible., Tom Highland is currently in hospice, peacefully accepting his diagnosis of terminal cancer. Fortunately, he has much family and friends surrounding him.
Ron
1 Peter 5:7 -
"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."