I'm missing you so much it hurts.
It has been long enough for me to be over you. Yet, you are very much still a part of me. I try to shake you. Maybe the feelings will go away, but they don't. So, I try to accept the fact that I still love you, but it is no easier.
The lonliness engulfs me.
I can hear you whispering my name.
I can see your giantic smile and that sparkle in your eyes.
I can feel your touch.
And I close my eyes remembering how comfortable I felt around you.
I remember those long conversations that just seemed to flow without effort. I remember how easy it was to love you. I remember sitting next to you on that church pew asking God if you were the one. I remember the day I realized how much I wanted you to be him. I was so overwhelmed with your presence. You impacted every part of me. You changed my way of thinking and even raised my expectations. My spirit is unbearably heavy as I begin to relive every moment I ever spent with you. And I sigh in desperation begging God to move me out of this place.
I sit quietly and
I pray for guidance.
I pray for increased faith.
I pray for wisdom.
I pray for happiness.
I pray for peace.
I pray for the courage to let go and let God work things out. And I pray for the patience to wait on Him to release His perfect will in my life.
The e-book version of Sam Vaknin's "Malignant Self - Love - Narcissism Revisited". Contains the entire text: essays, frequently asked questions and
appendices regarding pathological narcissism and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Regis