I had thought, long ago,
That I had rendered
My heart safe
From unrequited longings,
That it had been cauterized
By one rejection
Too many,
That every last hope
Had been annihilated.
Years passed
Without so much
As a flicker
Of a dream
Of love and romance
And I grew complacent
In my pallid gray world,
Content in my aloneness,
My heart, my very soul,
Completely protected
From further destruction.
Now, suddenly,
All those romantic dreams
Have returned
With a vengeance,
Bringing with them
All of the old pain
And the fear,
The absolute terror,
That I must relearn
The harsh lessons
That cost me so dearly
In my youth.
Thankfully there is no real object
Of this desire, so
I do not understand why
These yearnings have reawakened
From their dormant state,
But they have left me vulnerable
And almost defenseless.
I pray I can send them back
From whence they came
Before I am destroyed
Once again.
Ron
budd