It hurt like hell
worse than childbirth
more than childbirth without meds
I have agonized for months
writhing in pain under those words
those hateful words you spit at me
they broke my heart and my spirit
broke me more thoroughly
than all the abuse of all those years
when I was still and quiet
I could see your faces, your eyes
I could still feel your weight
in my body and my arms
many years long passed and so many
slights and signs you didn't love me
signs I refused to believe
at last forced to acknowledge
it hurt like hell, worse than childbirth
in my mind I have held you close
kissed your faces and whispered,
“goodbye,” because I can't deal with
this pain, these circling questions
of what I did wrong and why
you didn't respect or love me
I will live, I won't be completely broken
and when I think of you
I will dismiss those hate filled words
I'll remember my little boys
and I'll smile at the sweet memory
of tiny hands in mine and kisses
tenderly planted on my face
I'll remember childish voices saying,
“I love you” banishing those hateful words
They say words can't hurt you, but they sure can. They can cut like a knife, and hurt like hell. And that pain can go deep inside us, and linger or worse, fester until they poison us.
I can't imagine anyone hurting their mother. Words or no words. My sister and my mother didn't see eye to eye on many things, but in the end, my sister cared for her until she died recently.
So if this is really happening to you, like I believe, all you can do is forgive them for their behavior and hope that they will come around someday to forgive you, too.
Very emotional and heartfelt poetry. If this is all about recent events it must have been so difficult to write. If so, I pray you find love, peace and happiness in a very short period of time. Amen
Rosetta was born in 1909 as the youngest of ten children. The family had more laughter than money and neighbors would knock on their door to ask, "Can we come in and laugh, too?"
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So if this is really happening to you, like I believe, all you can do is forgive them for their behavior and hope that they will come around someday to forgive you, too.
Ron
Sandie