Poem from the Historical Fiction novel, "The End of Sorrow: A Novel of the Siege of Leningrad in WWII"

"Holding On"

A Blue Jay chirps outside my window
as I contemplate why the door to my room is always open.
I’m expecting no one.
I didn’t even expect the Blue Jay.
I think I should shut the door.  No sense in leaving it open.
And then I hear it . . .
Laughter.
It bounces off the walls,
up the stairs,
and into my uncomprehending ears.
I ask it what it’s doing here.
But laughter only laughs.  It doesn’t understand.
“Don’t leave me,” I say.
And it doesn’t.
And we sit together for a while,
remembering those endless summer nights,
those endless summer dreams,
with our youth, and our convictions,
that our endless lives would always be just that.
I look away – only for a moment –
and laughter slips away.

I am bitter,
but leave the door open anyway.