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Marilyn Seray

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Serpent's Song
by Marilyn Seray → (All Poetry by Marilyn Seray)
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A serpent penetrates its tongue
through my mind’s foggy middle;
stinging it with a sweetly seasoned
song of forgiveness.

I instantly warm and melt from the
serpent’s noxious tongue

absorbed in a euphoric mist, I listen
to it’s proclamations of love

it’s hypnotic eyes pierce my soul
and lifts it to a level where I’d believe
an elaborate lie whispered by an infant

Time and time again I follow it on this
coiling path it licks at my feet

‘round and ‘round until I’m numb with
belief and understanding.

I am on my own; bewildered by poison

The serpent slithers away once again on
it’s heart made of scales hissing the
serpent’s song of lies



© MS May 2004

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 Reviews of "Serpent's Song"
Reviewed by Dan Zuewski (Reader)
Reviewed on June 3, 2004
Interesting poem. I like the thoughts I get from a serpent combined with poison and forgiveness. Thanks for stopping by, Marilyn. Hope everything is well with you. :)

Reviewed on May 29, 2004
i ask why was this planet egg born leaving only the serpent to earth sea & sky, the primordial body of woman & reptillian brain, surely mistress of our mortal creation, this is still a great poem tho its theme has inspired poets since time inmemoriam & will continue to do so saludos robin

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on May 26, 2004
Ha! Anybody we know? Loved it.

Reviewed by Lori Moore
Reviewed on May 24, 2004
Interesting images. I especially like the idea of the serpent singing a song of forgiveness. Excellent write.

Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader)
Reviewed on May 24, 2004
Wow now this is intense and darkly fascinating. Well penned Marilyn!

Reviewed by Floria Kelderhouse (Reader)
Reviewed on May 24, 2004
Wow Marilyn..first the picture is so awesome,
and then your poem. It is splendid writing.
floria

Reviewed by Amor Sabor
Reviewed on May 24, 2004
You are a very special poet in my eyes for you see the beauty in fantasy with a crystaline heart and soul. The pic is fantastic. I only wish I could have been the artist on this one. Missed you and glad to see you post.
Amor

Reviewed by Trixie Love
Reviewed on May 24, 2004
Hi Marilyn,
I suppose to each his own,
But, I felt this write was
superbly done...


Hugs,
Trixie :)

Reviewed by na na (Reader)
Reviewed on May 24, 2004
Marilyn, I think you are a wonderful poet and this is a wonderful poem. And if I had a suggestions or criticism, I would be kind enough to take the time and effort to put what I felt on your comment section. You have taken giant strides from the time we first met.
You are not just a housewife poet; though there is nothing wrong with that. You have dug out new channels in your heart and soul and fill them with gems of the expresson of love the way this poem does. Hugs
Your friend Bill
p.s. pedant is as pedant does

Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)
Reviewed on May 24, 2004
I'd have to disagree with Jim. I think your wording is perfect for free verse. You kept the rhythm and that's what is important in poetry. Prose is edited and punctuated much differently than poetry.

Well done.

Elizabeth

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on May 24, 2004
Wow Marilyn ....outstanding piece Lady!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Jim Dunlap
Reviewed on May 24, 2004
As an editor, I often see things differently than others, and it some don't like any helpful criticism, however, I'd change I instantly warm and melt to Instantly, I melt

here:

eyes pierce my soul
and lifts

eyes are plural so they lift

and I have reservations about slithering away on its heart.

Otherwise, nice job.

Jim Dunlap

Reviewed by E T Waldron
Reviewed on May 24, 2004
Whoa! Ms Seray! where have you been lately!;-)
This is fantastic imagery, sensual and stunning!
Good to read you M. you are missed!That pic is
breathtaking, to match the poem!!!


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