The first poem in my new book In The Midst of My Blackness is a poem I wrote to my brother Dijan who died from HIV/AIDS. By sharing this I celebrate his memory and World Aids Day!

Prayers For Dijan

Holy Spirit please forgive me if I wronged him.
If I was too busy, or if I ignored him and his cries.
Lord if I shunned him, or pushed him away, I apologize Father.
Please forgive me.
Lord I ask that protect and keep his beautiful Spirit
Wherever that may be.
Please Lord I beg you not to return him,
reincarnate him to endure the pain of this land.
Lord save all people from this epidemic.
Dijan was loving, charming and funny.
He had a great sense of humor.
We laughed till we ached and cried.
He wrote poetry to me and our mother,
The poems always began with Beautiful little Sister!
He was talented and creative. He loved taking ordinary gadgets,
then creating something amazing and spectacular!
He was my hero Lord.
He was creative but isolated.
He was so alone, and surrounded by pain.
Aggressive and manly, but fed up and timid.
He was hiding and silent because AIDS would be his demise.
He whispered our family always made him feel there was something wrong with him or he was not man enough.
Straight people called him sweet!
They yelled sissy, punk, you have sugar in your tank.
All my life I wanted to shield Dijan, and people like him.
He was wounded Lord,
Wounded by the system that was supposed to protect him.
Ultimately the family, his schools, churches, and society itself created a climate Of fear, isolation, and powerlessness.
Lord everyone judged and condemned him
No one offered help, encouragement or love.
But I love him father, without conditions.
Father I tried to use myself as an instrument to educate people about
HIV/AIDS and homophobia.
I don’t know if they got the message.
I Love Dijan Lord, I still want to save him.
Dijan suffered a spiritual death before his physical one.
I believe that depression, suicide,
alcohol and drug abuse, oppression, HIV/AIDS, are all preventable.
But where is the love, where’s the compassion?
Lord eliminate the stigma that surrounds the African American community.
Lord teach and save our people from themselves.
I will forever use myself to fight for Dijan, and others like him.
Lord give me the strength to drag myself along.