Dreams of beauty captured in the blood of a mixed child
Birthed by a mom who felt her skin & roots weren't worthwhile
All her life she imagined red bones with wavy, long hair
Blue eyes she supposed every man must desire to stare
…Into.

With a…
Perfect smile framed by thin, pink lips
Breasts that spread out further than her corn-fed hips
Smooth, pale skin…maybe with two deep dimples
The opposite of her dark, plump cheeks and pimples
She never appreciated the width of her nose
She felt desecrated from her head to her toes
Never fond of mirrors, they reflect an awful vision
Believed she was held captive to an unlawful prison
Cursed by her roots, hexed by her heritage
Scarred by negativity and ethnic disparage
Overdosed with melanin, ashamed of her hair's texture
Disgusted by her family's slang-filled lecture
Cursed with debts, disaster & failure for all her life
Blaming her ancestors for this seemingly inevitable strife


She sought escape from those "calamities" in the characteristics of another race
Simply convinced that mating with a brother was a waste
She looked into his green eyes & saw false freedom in his traits
Assured that her child's hair would be that bone straight
So she won't wait…
For love to take grasp of her heart and spirit
There was an incredible void & she knew his seed could fill it

So a baby was conceived, a perfect confusion of Europe & Africa
Nine months later she thought she found her happily ever after
In a desperate attempt to live life through her child
When all the while
The key to her happiness was in her own smile
The release from resentment was her smothered self-confidence
Now the foolish pretense
And selfish nonsense
Of false consequence
Must be paid through a child's life long expense
Daddy's not around, she didn't even know his last name
A child was born but her pain never changed

Copyright © 2008 K.L. Shanks