Queen Bed--Mattress  Still Under Warranty
 
Like you to meet my wife.   Don't
believe you've met my husband.
Nice couple.  Think they were
still on their honeymoon. Meant
for each other!  See one, see
the other.
 
Hasta la vista, ta-ta, au revoir.
 
Didn't so much blow up as unravel.
So sad  to think of all we put into
trying to knit together a marriage
didn't just look good on the top.  
Yarn kept breaking.  Every time
we tried to weave in a loose end,
here came another knot.  No matter
how careful we were, our fumbling
produced lumps where we had been
picturing smooth, mathematical
rows.   Color faded right off.   Only
fool yourselves so long.  Guess
we thought it would be like crochet.
Quick and easy.  Metaphor blurs
with my vision.  Since the split, I find
that I steer clear of the bedroom.  Throw
that neon-striped afghan your mother
made on the recliner, stab at sleep
there.  Kept my coat on at a party
for fear of ending up in the couple's
bedroom.  When a friend asked me
to help bed-shop,  I invented an excuse
a 4-year-old would have seen through.  
Before tying the knot, you and I loved to
spoon on that double.  Then we talked
ourselves into a water bed -- how
disappointing was that?  Both sighed
with relief when it sprang a leak.  
Last bed, we named Goldilocks'
Choice:   juuuuuuust  riiiiiiiiiiiight.
If only we had been.  Wore ourselves   
out attempting to mend with weekend
dates and orgasms real and faked.
Mattress 10, relationship 0.   Now  
you share a bed -- king, I am sure --
with some would-be Playmate of the
Month.  Sale on at the mall.  Beds,
electric blankets, comforters.  Note to
self:   About time you thought about
a pet-?    Rescue, maybe?