The Pendulum

By Kathy Lynn

My feelings and thoughts

Are like a pendulum

Sometimes I am sure of what I feel

Then when I least expect it something happens

Doubt enters my mind

Making my thoughts full of fear

For I have been there before

I don’t want to go again

The pendulum swings making me unsure

Ever so slightly thoughts enter my mind

Who are you and what do you want from life

Will our desires clash and make life miserable

One day I feel I know a good and loving man

Then you will get angry and scare me again

So the pendulum swings to and fro

Sometimes making my heart hurt so

For I know what pain is like

Deep within were no one can see

How easily threatened I can be

From the past to the future

The pendulum slowly swings

Mixing all the emotions of the times

You have shared with others before me

For I have not known but one

His pendulum swung wildly

Back and forth changing his moods

I suffered for his insecurities

The ability to compete in his world

So I paid the price with pain

Over and over again

And the pendulum swung