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Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie

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Fire Dancer
by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie → (All Poetry by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie)
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A response to A Challenge Poem at FOS

The Challenge: To use these phrases in an epic poem;

* "... archangels in velvet armor..."
* "... marching through the shadows of Time..."
* "... the Judas Kiss of Eternity..."
* "... sneering at tombstones..."

I Don't think this qualifies as an Epic Poem, but it is a poem...





Poem Artwork




Fire Dancer


He came,
Like they all do,
With promises and lies on his lips,
But she was wary,
And did not take the bait-

He wanted to walk her home,
Thinking to earn his way into her heart,
By showing his courage,
He chose the path through the church yard,
Where long ago they buried their dead…

But she was unafraid of death,
And sneered at the tombstones,
When they walked through the graveyard…

He thought she would be frightened,
And took her hand in his,
But death was her old friend,
And they knew each other well-

In her eyes,
He saw fire,
And misread it for desire,
He did not see the scars,
She bore.

The night hid them,
The night hid her,
From his prying eyes,
And rude questions that she ignored…

He is young she thought.
He does not understand,
And the voice within her nodded sagely,
And whispered;

I wonder what he would think,
If he knew I danced with fire,
Its bright yellow eyes,
Following my every move,
Flames licking their lips,
Trying to taste flesh,
That never stands still…

What is it about the nature of fire
That calls to me,
Burns in me,
Springs unseen around me,
Until the heat warms my cold hands,
And I reach out to it,
Trying to understand,
The nature of the beast,
That calls my name so clearly…

Perhaps I am doomed to be saved,
In its raging flames,
The heat of its glowing eye,
Piercing through the façade,
Its yellow glow igniting within me,
Blazing through the paper walls,
Eating them like a greedy child,
Eager for sweet meat…

I sing to it,
Touch it,
Run my fingers through the curtain of flames,
That surrounds me,
Dancing to its music…

Have you heard the sound of fire burning?
Ah what a strange and haunting song it sings!
Powerful and alluring it calls to all,
Even the deaf hear its sound,
And watch the flames dancing with hypnotic glee!

The flame sits on my open palm,
And I whisper to it softly,

“Burn me then,
Flay me alive,
Set me on a river of pain,
Erase the memories that torment me,
Turn them to ashes that blow in the breeze,
Send me marching through the shadows of Time!




I wonder what he would say,
The one who wishes he could see me,
If he saw my scars,
Would they frighten him more,
Than my fire dancing ever could?

Would he dare to ask?
Would I dare to answer?
Could he trace the symbols,
Carved in once smooth flesh,
And not shiver,
Nor turn away?

Would he be afraid of the answers given?
Of the pain drawn in ruddy colors,
Of the rainbow carved on my wrists,
Or the moon on my chest?

Would he trace its rude edges in the night,
With closed eyes,
Letting his fingers guide him from one to the next?

Could he be my archangel in velvet armor?
My brave Knight,
My lover,
My soul mate…?

More importantly;

Could he save me?

Or when this evening ends,
With me finally revealing my secrets,
Would he give me my first true kiss of love,
Or the Judas Kiss of all Eternity…?

Promising to call,
Going as far as writing the number down,
Like a teenage boy on his arm,
Knowing full well he will shower,
As soon as he gets home,
And watch the memory of me,
Flow down the stainless steel drain…

Out of the darkness he calls to me,
His soft voice flowing over me,
Like the gentle spray from a waterfall,
Singing my name in that dark warm voice of his,

“Are you there?” He whispers,

I wonder how to answer-

From somewhere deep within,
The flames come again,
Alive and whispering,
He does not hear them.

But the dead do.

And they rise from their graves,
Called by the flames now burning all around me,
Flowing through me,
Trying to feel the heat of the life I possess…

I fight for control,
Dampen down the surging emotion,
Blazing in my heart,


He sings my name again,
And I turn to him,
Wondering what I shall do…

He says with awe,
“There is a fire in your eyes tonight,”

And the flames begin anew…



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 Reviews of "Fire Dancer"
Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green
Reviewed on February 23, 2006
M a r v e l o u s !!! Illustrtion is positively awesome. . .unsurprisingly, so is the poem. You are so gifted. . .have such passion. . . What a blessing you are.
A l w a y s s t a y y o u. 'Pea' <3

Reviewed by Gwen Dickerson
Reviewed on September 8, 2005
What a captivating and emotional ride of wonder! I'm so glad I didn't miss this creative gem! Bravo, Reindeer, bravo!

Reviewed by Mark Rockeymoore
Reviewed on August 25, 2005
what a graphic tale you've told here, so clear, so visually impressive, your storytelling skills are beyond doubt. the poetic flow of this tale is also wonderful, it carried me along from image to image, i was there, and lost the words early on.

Reviewed by Kathleen Herrick (Reader)
Reviewed on August 9, 2005
Fire is alive and so are these beautful words. :)

Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK
Reviewed on July 29, 2005
7-29-05

TRASK

Reviewed by Aberjhani
Reviewed on July 29, 2005
An extraordinarily profound write all around. These lines could represent a tango between what is termed the Higher Self and the Lower Self. On the one hand there is the transcendant awareness of the FIRE DANCER while on the other there is the temporal desire of a would-be suitor. With a mixture like that and a pen like yours, sparks can't help but fly:-)
Aberjhani

Reviewed by Zenith Elliott
Reviewed on July 29, 2005
From the picture to the poem this is magnificent work, Retta! ~Z~

Reviewed on July 29, 2005
hello Reatta, great great poetic story telling

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on July 27, 2005
A totally compelling and captivating poetic account. An offering superbly shared. Thank you, Retta. Love and peace to you. Regis

Reviewed by Sanil nath (Reader)
Reviewed on July 27, 2005
Excellent write ...

So beautiful ...

Loved the feeling that was flowing from the begining till end of the poem.



Reviewed by Elaine Carey
Reviewed on July 27, 2005
Awesome imagery!

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on July 26, 2005
Love the descriptions you use in this!

Reviewed by M Flack
Reviewed on July 26, 2005
Wow...

So much energy and passion. Words tht burn with life...

Great imagery and verse...

Reviewed on July 25, 2005
Reindeer,

A soaring dance--one that leaps off the page and into the heart! Well done!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. :)

Reviewed by Erin Kelly-Moen
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
Wow, Retta, epic it is! With a leaping, reaching, flaming heart of poetic excellence. I love these lines:

"The flame sits on my open palm,
And I whisper to it softly,"

It brings images of two opposite entities fluctuating with gentle acceptance, it makes me wonder how what was whispered to the flame, ignited her soul. And, what did the flame flicker back? Promises? Adoration? Parting? Or, annihalation...

Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen

Reviewed by E T Waldron
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
Reindeer, this is a spellbinding work! An outstanding epic poem that
leaves the reader breathless! Your poetic prowess shines throughout!

Love,
Eileen

Reviewed on July 25, 2005
powerful and image-laden write, as only you can do! brava!!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :D

am keeping this one! :)

Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
your poetic skill burns brightly in this psycho-spiritual presentation encompassing the metaphysical mystery of souls flying through the flames of perception in search of their eternal bond ... great work ...

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
I'd say this is quite an epic poem, Reindeer, and truly captivating.

Reviewed by A. Keith Barton
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
Exquisite; we all carry baggage into any new relationship and we must someday learn to leave it behind and begin anew; that means vulnerability and hurt but without it, we never experience love again.

Reviewed by Felix Perry
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
Well I would say that this has all the makings of an epic in my mind and heart anyway. Superb write and answer to the challenge.

Felix

Reviewed on July 25, 2005
A captivating story/poem well-told. It has caught my attention from beginning to end.

Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)

Reviewed by Pacific Ink (Reader)
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
So much is happening in this poem. I like the dark styling you have used in this, the way your bring your story is wonderful. BRAVA!

Pacific Ink

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
Epic or not. Contest or not. This is a mind-blowing piece of poetry that lures the reader on and on is the mystery until he is consumed by the promise of even more mystery. Gotta love it.

Reviewed by Handsum Hart
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
Poetic story telling at its best, splendid penning.

Take care

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
Stunning response to the challenge Retta!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
In her eyes,
He saw fire,
And misread it for desire,
He did not see the scars,
She bore

Gem of a write my friend...this is one of your very best...one of the best that I have ever read...clap clap clap.....love n luck...BHUWAN!!!!!

Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
To be blunt. I'm rather speechless. Awe struck..
It held my full attention, the shear enchanting beauty of this.
It is one to keep, and to give to my niece.
Such a believable story with such realistic people.
It grabs yer in. If this was on a book shelf,illistrated. I would buy it...

Reviewed by George Carroll
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
A poem that leaves the reader in awe of the magic in your poetic pen.

Reviewed by Leah Wilson
Reviewed on July 25, 2005
Wow!, this leaves me breathless! This is soo mysterious, and intriguing, I have to admit that I am charmed. Love it! Leah C. Wilson


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