You're not going to believe what happened to my car! 9/29/2005 12:30:26 PM
I moved out onto the road and to my horror thick, dense, choking smoke started emerging out of my dash heater vents into the front of the van. As you know I've had two very recent writing developments that are causing a lot of activity in my life. Almost simultaneously Booksurge.com released my new funny novel "The Wager: A Humourous novel about Dog Parks, Seniors and Gambling For Love Later in life" and Pono Productions LLC in Kula, Hawaii, have produced a video we shot in June entitled "Conversations in KeoKea". The video highlights the suffering of the children who became monarchs of Hawaii as a microcosm of the suffering of Indigenous children put into Residential Schools during Colonial times. We attempt to find the "Meaning of the Suffering" in terms of Viktor Frankl's Logo or Meaning-Based therapy and suggest ways that Reconciliation with descendants of both colonizers and Indigenous people can happen in such places as Australia and British Columbia.
Anyway, those of you who have published a book or made a video realise the enormity of trying to publicize a book or a video amongst the myriads of titles released in the world. The day after my birthday (I'm not going to tell you how many have occured) I had a brainwave that the way to publicize the book was to buy a fax machine, get a phone plan that allowed reasonable faxing and fax the world about my new funny book. I also simultaneously decided that the way to pulicize the video/DVD was to buy a portable DVD player and use it to attract people to my author's table at various travel, craft and writing engagements I had set up.
So I went out along with my constant companion, a 105 pound sweetie of a Rottweiler, named Bella, and invested in a sophisticated fax machine and a delightful, small DVD player with a small screen and a carrying case. That's when the problems started. I no sooner moved out of the parking lot when dense, choking smoke started pouring up through my dash heating vents. Bella started to bark furiously then made serious choking noises in the back seat. I refused to breath and managed to pull off the road somehow without hitting anybody. I leaped out of the van, pulled Bella out of the back seat and attached her to the inside handle of the van door.
I released the hood opener and managed to get the hood up. Smoke was pouring out into the parking lot but fortunately there were not any flames. A man and his wife came running over.
"I'll call the fire department," he said. By this time the smoke had slowed down.
"It's OK, I tried to persuade the fellow that there was no fire. "I'll just call the automobile Assoc."
"I am the fire department," he replied. I realised he was an off-duty fireman.
Anyway I finally managed to convince him that a roaring fire truck upsetting my coughing Rottweiler was the last thing I wanted and he went away after I told him my son-in-law would come and find out what was wrong with the car.
"I guess your son-in-law is cuter than me," were his final words." I phoned the automobile association and my son-in-law. The automobile association said it would be an hour and my son-in-law couldn't get free because he was taking care of his two little daughters.
The tow truck came a lot faster than expected but the driver was not too eager to take Bella in the front of the cab. We compromised and Bella was tied onto the deck of the truck. We were a great site going down the street with a Rottweiler attached to the back of a tow truck and the van dangling in the air behind us. We dropped Bella off a a veterinarian as she was still coughing furiously.
It took the afternoon and part of the morning for the garage mechanic to find out that what had caused the problem was a golf ball jammed in the heater ducts. Apparently I had become embroiled in one of Alfred Hitchcock's movies, namely the Birds, but that it was rodents who were attacking me not Birds. The golf ball
was later found to be half eaten and had rodent teeth marks all over it.
The end result was a $1500.00 garage bill and a $100.00 vet bill as the heat from the fire had damaged quite a bit of the heater vents and the air conditioning had to be discharged to get at the scene of the crime. Bella is all right but looks very apprehensive when she gets in the van now. So I hope you readers out there realise the trouble we writers go through trying to let you know that are intellectual gifts are being released into the world. I'm just glad that I wasn't making my usual trip to West Vancouver over a major bridge in rush hour traffic when the smoke started coming into the front of the van.
