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Blogs by Sudo Nym ~ Poet in Motion
Online Dating ~ Desperate & Dateless? 7/2/2006 12:35:49 PM
I've recently found myself exploring the world of online dating. It seems to me more and more people are using this media tool. Along the lines of "Sex & The City" I thought it might be fun and/or funny to begin a blog to share some of my thoughts and escapades. I remember back when we didn't use computers every day. We wrote letters or called and talked to people on the telephone. Our meet and greets were face to face.
We met people in parks or libraries, in restaurants and bars, or through mutual acquaintance. We sized them up almost instantly based on conversation and intuition. And we decided we did or did not want to get to know them more. I think most of our decisions were based on how we felt.
Before online dating there were print copy advertisements, listings usually found in the back pages of local newspapers. I remember reading them once in a while. I have to admit I 'never' considered answering one of them. I always figured they had to be posts from what I jokingly and judgmentally labeled as 'The Desperate & Dateless' crowd. I mean, really? Who would place a personal advertisement?! And what exactly were they buying and/or selling? I always thought of these ads as part of the underworld; mail order bride services, foreign immigrants needing US papers, racketeers trading men and women like consumer goods, persons seeking to fulfill sexual fantasies that deterred from what may be considered normal. (Please note: I am not "defining" normal, I believe to each their own.)
But here we are, twenty years later and it seems almost everyone is at least looking at online dating sites. Many more are participating. Yet it still carries a certain stigma. People are hesitant to admit that they looked around or actually placed an ad.
I've talked with a lot of people who find themselves reading these ads for entertainment. I must admit I am one of them; there really are a lot of bizarre feature stories! So we read ads and look at pictures and decide whether or not to initiate email correspondence. What I do have concerns about is that with this venue, we are unable to 'feel out' a person. It is near impossible to draw from our senses.
So I wonder - is this also what I would deem as a desperate plan to find a date or is it, in fact, how we are evolving? We sit at home or in internet cafes reading ads and from such try to determine if we can find a suitable mate based on their stats?
Thank you for reading my humble thoughts. I've decided to write a blog for a bit to further explore this topic.
