These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great proportion of insults became 4-letter words.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." -- Moses Hadas
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." -- Abraham Lincoln
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." --Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." -- Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." -- Jack E. Leonard
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." -- Robert Redford
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." -- Thomas Brackett Reed
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -- Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." -- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -- Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx
