Byron Edgington, click
here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.
Blogs by Byron Edgington
...can't treat stupid. 5/31/2013 7:56:40 AM
We can't treat stupid, but we can sedate it. Yes, medical people use this phrase quite often. Now, I'm a pretty compassionate guy, and I'm the first the admit that I've done some pretty stupid things in my own life, so keep that in mind for today's reasonably snarky post. You'll have to forgive the sentiment portrayed by the picture. Trust me, medical folks really do use this phrase among themselves, and quite often, especially in pre-hospital and ER settings.
When I flew patients as an Air Med pilot, I saw every facet of humanity from tragic, to heartbreaking, from weird and confusing to the almost unbelievable. A lot of the stories can be found in The Sky Behind Me. Here's a preview of some that are not in the book, and not because they're unprintable, but to shield the patients in question from further embarrassment.
'Howard' (a made-up name) was badly damaged when a tree jumped in front of his Trans Am one dark and drunken night. He was violent, vocal and quite moist in his interactions with us. In the helicopter, at a thousand feet, halfway home, Howard threatened to jump out. The flight nurse and I considered his request, but dismissed it: too much paperwork.
'Noah,' another made-up name had been enjoying an adult beverage or six whilst motor-boating on a sunny, patriotic Fourth. At the wheel, his spouse revved the little Evinrude, and the rude little motor caused the boat to lurch forward, just doing its job. Noah departed overboard and underboat, where Mister Prop caught him mid-belly and laid him wide open. Still quite sedated from his analgesic beverages, Noah greeted us in the ER where we packed him up and flew him away to where surgeons might tend to his churned- up lower extremities.
Speaking of going overboard from modern vehicles, 'Norma,' made up name, yes, had no idea, no idea I tell you, that letting a two-year old come along on the family riding mower might injure the child. No idea the little one might slip off and under the blades. Yes, mom was drinking and driving, the lawn mower in this case, and a child paid the price.
Between testosterone, alcohol and gunpowder it's hard to say which drug is the more dangerous. But it's truly irritating when misuse of either affects others, especially kids. The drug in question was the black powder loaded into a .22. Guns are fascinating to eleven-year-old males, and indeed to their adult counterparts as well, so one would think such a fascinating and dangerous item might be locked away, or at least unloaded when kids are about, but one would sometimes be wrong. The patient's ten-year-old pal caused the gun to fire, and the round hit the eleven-year-old in the head. In this particular case a happy ending ensued. To the astonishment of all, the lad survived his ordeal and went on to graduate from a computer tech school, where I'm quite certain he's much smarter than yours truly in the mind-numbing intricacies of a computer.
We humans do manage to maim ourselves and our pups in various and sundry ways, some of them quite stupid. Part of our condition, I suppose, and not likely to ever change. So take it from me, a fellow stupid human, former Air Med pilot and occasional user of analgesic liquids. Buckle up, keep kids away from lawn mowers and guns, don't stand up in the boat and watch for jumpy trees.
