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A BRAVE NEW WORLD 8/8/2021 4:16:20 PM
So after I snap up my new ensemble, my new world, and all the love from Three Guys, I head out proudly, gift in hand to make my presentation to Esperanza!
I stride down the blocks, checking my look in every shop and car window I pass, like I’m a Greek god, or something. Like I’m Zeus. Just before I arrive at the beauty salon, I slip the gold earring on again, digging the way it shines against my gold ensemble. Yeah, I am bad. There she is, her butt facing me again. Wearing tight white pants, a snug pink top, and those amazing stiletto heels. Daamn! How could anyone look that good?! I almost spontaneously burst into tears, that’s how incredibly beautiful she is. My only focus at this moment, is exactly what’s going on there in the Tijeras de Oro. Nothing else matters. Not even air. Not even breathing, which I have to remind myself to do now. I also have to remind myself again, that everything I’ve done in the last few weeks was to get close to her. Snapping out of my lovesick trance, I manage to step into the shop. I’m immediately blown away by the contrast in energy and style, between here and Three Guys. It’s as if I’m stepping into a glam rock concert, with all the flashing lights, riotously loud music, and high-pitched gossip. I stealthily take a seat behind where Esperanza’s cutting hair, and am almost immediately recognized by Lydia, the beautician next to Esperanza.
“Esperaaaanza (she draws out her name teasingly), su Romeo está aquí, mami!”
Instantly, it’s like the place goes wild with whistles. Esperanza looks up – surprised - and I am greatly relieved to see that dead look is gone. She is back to her old self, thank God. She turns to me, grins, shakes her head, and goes back to cutting. The razzing continues.
“Por cuando es la boda, mami?”
“Dime la fecha? Necesito vestido nuevo!”
It goes on like this for a while, as Esperanza laughs.
“Callanse- putas!” she retorts.
The kissing sounds grew louder.
A permanent smile spreads over my face. Even though I don’t know exactly what they’re saying, I got a pretty good idea of what’s going on.
Esperanza looks very amused.
“Hi papi, how you doing?”
I love her voice, her intonations. I love everything about her.
“H-hi, Esperanza.”
“You look cute today, that’s a cute outfit. You look nice in gold, baby.”
“Thanks.” I clear my throat.
“You didn’t forget me yet, heh papi?”
“No…I…was…I got something for you, Esperanza.”
“What? Another gift, papi? Oh Dios mio! Ok, just wait till I finish up with my customer here, and I’ll take a cigarette break, ok?”
I nod hopefully.
“Don’t worry, I promise I’ll talk to you this time.” She laughs.
“Speak with your heart, my brother, speak with your heart.” Bakir's words of advice reverberate through my head. God, I hope she likes my drawing. Keep cool. Keep positive.
In a few minutes, she’s done with her customer, and is grabbing her pocketbook from the counter.
“C’mon, baby, let’s go out on our cigarette…break.”
Again the room echoes with good-matured teasing.
“Oooh, buena suerte, Esperanza - cuidado!”
Esperanza laughs as she flips them the finger and sticks out her tongue, and we waltz out that door. Once we reach the alley on the side of the shop, she grabs a pack of Virginia Slims from her pocketbook, and expertly lights up the cigarette in one graceful motion.
Jeez- she even smokes sexy.
She points the pack at me and gestures.
“Um…no…I…I-uh-don’t smoke… Virginia Slims”
She smiles knowingly.
“Yeah, they be like girly cigarettes, right?” She makes a kind of mocking face.
I smile.
“O.k., ok, you busted me! I don’t smoke - at all.”
“You’re smart! They so bad for you. Mi tia, I mean, my Aunt Ruthie - she got throat cancer from that shit…she died.”
“How come you still smoke, then?”
“Honey, I do a lot of things I shouldn’t be doing.”
She winked. My knees almost buckle.
I can’t help but just fawn at her. Now I could finally understand why girls scream and cry when they see a big rock star at a concert. Especially like when girls would swoon and faint at the sight of The Beatles. Crazy. I remember John Lennon once said that The Beatles were bigger than Jesus Christ. That is what I feel about her.
She is bigger than Jesus Christ! But I mean, I can’t just scream or faint. That would be way too queer.
“Daammn, papi (she laughs) don’t just stand there and stare at me and shit!” she reaches out and touches my hand.
“What did you want to tell me?”
“Um...uh…I stammer.
I couldn’t get my tongue to work. C’mon asshole, say something. This is your last chance. She’s waiting. I look at my envelope, and quickly hand it to her.
“What’s this?”
“It’s for you.”
“Oh, I love presents.”
She opens it and takes the drawing out. I ravenously scour her face for any reaction, while simultaneously praying to St. Peter and Saint Francis. She scans and scans it. C’mon, say something! Anything.
“Oh, papi! You drew this!?”
I nod hesitantly.
Oh, Dios mio- it is so beautiful! I can’t believe it. Oh, my God - I didn’t know you was an artist!
She comes over and kisses me right on the lips, and she lingers there for a brief moment!
“You be so sweet! How did you do this without no picture of me? You don’t got no pictures of me, right?”
“Um- no! I- I just kept picturing you in my mind… and I- just drew it.”
“Oh, you be so cute. This is the bestest present anybody ever gave to me. I gotta show this to the girls- c’mon.”
She grabs me by the arm and rushes me through the door. She excitedly goes up to Lydia.
“Lydia- mira - look at what my little honey made for me! Ain’t that so beautiful?!”
“Oh, Dios mio! Oooh - el es tan dulce.” she gushes.
In a second, all the other ladies, and even their customers, are crowding around the drawing, and the cackling in Spanish reaches a crazy crescendo. It must go on for, like, five minutes. One of the ladies turns and points at me.
“Mira- Mira- cara roja!”
"Oh pobrecito!" comes the chorus. Esperanza comes over and hugs me.
“Oh, he’s embarrassed - he’s so cute, right?”
They’re all making such a fuss over me. I secretly love it. Then Esperanza kisses me again - on the lips! I just hope I’m not going to faint. She puts the drawing back tenderly in the envelope.
“I’m gonna get a frame for this, papi, and hang it right up in my bedroom.”
After the madness dies down a little, I want to make sure that I ask her what I came to ask her. I feel strong and proud.
“Esperanza? Could we go back outside again - just for a minute?” She smiles.
“Ok.”
As soon as we hit outside, before I have a chance to freeze up again, I just blurt it out.
“Esperanza - do you think we could go out sometime? To a movie or dinner?”
She touches my face, plays with my curls for a second, and clucks her tongue.
Oh, papi, you be so sweet… but I think maybe you a little bit too young for me, you know? How old are you anyway? Like sixteen?”
“Seventeen!” I quickly reply. But I’m pretty sure she knows I’m lying.
“How old are you? Oops! I shouldn’t have asked that…so…”
“That’s all right, baby, but you know, a woman never tells her age.”
“Yeah…I’m sorry.”
“But I’m gonna let you know anyway, just ‘cuz you so cute. I’m twenty.”
That’s pretty much what I had thought.
“I-I don’t care if you're older than me, Esperanza! I got a good job now! I’m making good money. I’m working in an Italian restaurant. Real classy”.
She crinkles her nose again just like Elizabeth Montgomery on Bewitched, and giggles.
She keeps smiling - and looks at me for a few seconds right in the eye. I almost can’t take it, that way she looks at me. But I can’t look away either. Is this what it’s like to be in love?
