Here is a little something I've been thinking about
words can fill me with so much doubt
When words and actions aren't the same
it feeds a feeling that I can't quite name

I can't seem to shake that tickling sensation
that leaves me wide open to temptation
I pray for hope of another day
but everyday this feeling eats away
At the love I have for you
and although it may be true
I'm watching what we have wither and die
and it grows to weak to make me wonder
why bother to give it another try

This is the infinite sadness
that I'm afraid to share with you
So close, yet so far away
no longer bears within it the truth
Because those hours seem like a wasteland
an inferno of discontent
And your absence is a mountain
of jagged cliffs that stings my heart
and leaves no room for repent

If I look around me I see so many options
so many willing to follow by my side
It's like a powerful tide
of conflicting emotion
Steadily causing erotion
On feelings that used to seem so strong
but now all this doubt make them feel so wrong
Tell me why should I stay with you
when our future is so out of reach
And words don't hold enough truth
to breech the doubt that steadily grows stronger

And to realize I may be chasing windmills
like a pathetic crusader of love
It rattles my spine with chills
Am I on my good way to destroy
my one and only chance for joy
Or am I a restless spirit chasing a mirage
hoping for my dream
to be exactly as pure as I want it  to seem

I want that happy ending I must admit
I want it now not later
And I'm finding it difficult to sit
around and wait for you.
If it was only a week or two
it would be fine
But it always is a month or two
and things seems static with frustration
it's this neverending waiting
It is slowly killing all my hope
and all my love comes crashing down this
slippery slope

Then you enter for a glorious day or two
I'm lost in a feeling so magical and right
It sweeps me off my feet and into the clouds
and I completely loose my head for those
days of perfect bliss
And when you leave it seems strong enough
to endure all that hurt and miss
How could this ever go wrong
when my feelings for you are so strong

You leave with a promise of a tomorrow
just a week or two away
My hope is at an alltime high
then one week goes by and another
And I start to think why do I even bother
to believe anything you say when we part
Why do I let you capture my heart
when I should know better
I've seen it time and time again
your words are apart from your actions
They can't overcome your addiction
to add to your evergrowing pile of recognition

Your ambition is our enemy
as well as my trusting heart
And you can't quite admit why
we are apart
Instead you fill your head with reconstructions
Causing this reconstructdead stalemate
And I can't quite admit why
it stings my heart
It's beacuse of my fear that
we are better off apart